Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Another delay in the iPhone


Well the engineers want to kill me but you know what, I know how to design products. And I'm sorry, this circuit board for the iPhone is just way too friggin ugly. There's no balance. You've got this long skinny piece on the left and then nothing on the right to balance it out. And the big chip should be right in the middle, not off center. And the two little gold pieces on the right should be lined up straight. I mean there's a million problems with this design. Just look at it. You've got all these little skinny lines on one side then big fat lines on the other, with loads of space. WTF? So I told them go back and redo it. I want it perfectly symmetrical. They're like, Steve, nobody is gonna see the circuit board. I'm like, Yes, but I'll know it's in there, and that will ruin it for me. They're like, Steve, it's not just about looks, because the thing won't work right if we move the chips the way you want them. I'm like, You know what, try it. Just do it and let's see. They're like, Dude, with all due respect, we're electrical engineers, okay? We know what we're talking about. One guy goes to the white board and starts trying to give me a lesson in how electric current flows through a circuit. I'm standing there, just shaking with rage, and I'm like, Excuse me, but please put down that marker and then go to your desk and fire yourself. Okay? Thank you. No, I'm serious.

After he left the other guys told me he was the lead engineer on the project. Oh well. Too bad. Guess you'll all have to work that much harder now eh?

Folks, this is probably the single most important product we've ever made. This is going to define the new Apple. This thing has to be like a Porsche. Or a really well-made Swiss watch. I want it to be perfect. Inside and out.

12 comments:

pr9000 (paul) said...

"I'm standing there, just shaking with rage, and I'm like, Excuse me, but please put down that marker and then go to your desk and fire yourself. Okay? Thank you. No, I'm serious."

OMG that's funny.

Westwind said...

Fake Steve, you've found a fake issue: its a photo of an iPod.

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

"After he left the other guys told me he was the lead engineer on the project. Oh well. Too bad. Guess you'll all have to work that much harder now eh?"

A. Fan said...

Uhh... FakeSteve? I'm pretty sure that's actually the insides of a regular 4G iPod, not an iPhone. That big silver block looks like a hard drive to me. I think your guys are having a little fun at your expense...

Anonymous said...

Who's the frigtard put the piece of tape there?

Matthew said...
This post has been removed by the author.
Matthew said...

Steve, didn't you learn your lesson when Burrell and the guys showed you the Mac circuit board couldn't be altered without screwing it up? Man, I honour the Buddha inside you, but don't repeat history's mistakes.

(Reposted becuase I can't spell)

your fan from India said...

Hahahaha this one was fun :D
Makes me wonder, is the real Steve anything like you?

Damian Cugley said...

For more about PC borad aesthetics:

http://www.folklore.org/StoryView.py?project=Macintosh&story=PC_Board_Esthetics.txt

M. Martorell said...

OMG! I totally understand your frustration. Being a designer myself you just KNOW what looks good and to try to explain it to an engineer is like talking to a box of rocks! All due respect to engineers, you guys are the best at making things work but daaaaang! when it comes to making it look friggin good then you should shut up and listen to the pain in the ass designer telling you it looks like A-S-S!
Thanks Fake Steve for putting that out there. I bow to thee!

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