Good thing we got to him with the hypnosis "briefing." Let me tell you, it was close. To see his review, go here. But if you'd rather not wade through all of it, I'll provide an executive summary here, in bullet format. According to Walt, the iPhone:
* adds multiple steps to common functions that are easy to perform on a regular phone.
* runs on EDGE, which is pokey, and the can't be upgraded to run on faster networks.
* does well on Wi-Fi, but this "doesn't fully make up for the lack of a fast cellular data capability."
* won't work with a lot of iPod accessories.
* has no overall search.
* has no quick way to move up and down on pages.
* has no way to cut, copy or paste text.
* can read Excel, Word and PDF documents, but can't edit or save them.
* can make phone calls but in many ways it's a pain in the ass, even more so than with other smart phones.
* boasts voice quality that's "good but not great."
* has no way to get your contact list from your old phone.
* can't turn contact groups into email distribution lists.
* has some third-party apps, "but the few we tried weren't impressive."
* has no instant messaging.
* can't record video with its camera, and has 2-megapixel resolution.
* has no support for Flash, so can't view stuff on some Web sites.
* can't turn your iPod songs into ringtones.
* has no games.
* can't access iTunes Music Store directly.
* costs twice as much as its competitors.
* isn't for the "average person" who just wants a cheap phone for making calls and texting.
* probably isn't for corporate types either.
Conclusion? "A beautiful and breakthrough handheld computer."
Thanks Walt. Much love.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Goatberg gushes
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13 comments:
You could winnow it down further.
"Whaddya think, Walt?"
"I think everything about it is broken or underwhelming."
"What's your final verdict?"
"I love it!"
Better get that fucking SDK out quick FSJ! Sounds like the iphone needs some serious tweaks.
These negative statements are only there to keep up appearances. The real review is in that delicious headline. Reviewers are shitting all over themselves trying to find ways to hate the iPhone, because isn't that the cool thing to do these days?
RDF built in? I'm fine with that.
It wouldn't surprise me to know that FSJ was actually a Microsoft employee.
They post negatives to make people think they're fair and balanced, and aren't slaves to Apple, but we know the truth.
this is why i read this blog.
fucking classic, fsj! beautifully done.
How about rewind/forward feature in voice mail.
Ya, he also points out that your keyboard lacks a comma or a period. You have to pull up an entirely new keyboard layout to use those keys.
Which, you know, is not big deal. It's not like we use the period. Or the comma. All that much, really. Really, I mean, realistically speaking, you know, those are, like, very rarely used keys ...
We all will just have to learn to type without any punctuation and have insanely long sentences that make us sound like William Fucking Faulkner with sentences that go on for pages and pages and you can't read them out loud without having to like take a breath and sometimes he'll even put a fucking
paragraph break inthe middle of a fucking sentence because he';s William Faulkner it's going to be called iPhone style now instead of Faulkner style or maybe the super smart Apple software will figure out when your sentence is supposed to end and just stick a period in there for you so you don't have to tap menu layouts keyboard alt or whatever it is to get to the comma layout did I mention Jon Ive is a design genius and this is a full version of OSX
OH EXCEPT ACCORDING TO THE NEWSWEEK STEVEN LEVY REVIEW (OR MAYBE IT WAS POGUE I CANT TELL EVERYONES SITE IS DOWN UNDER FANBOI LOAD) THIS VERSION OF OS X HAS NO COPY PASTE OR CUT HA HA NO CLIPBOARD YOU FREAKING FANBOIS HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES THATS WHAT I CALL A FULL VERSION OF OSX
I use my phone to do TWO things. Make calls and type emails. The iPhone can't seem to execute on the two most basic things...
1) "and you have to switch to a different keyboard view to insert a period or comma, which is annoying."
==>How can you type an email without a "comma" and a "period"
2) You also cannot just start typing a name or number, but must scroll through a list of favorites, through your recent call list, or your entire contact list. You can also use a virtual keypad.
==>This doesn't need any more explanation....
Interesting reading. I think he's unnecessarily negative, and I don't think that's an effect produced by your suggesting that he is.
You get the sense, reading the review and looking at the specs, that the device may be even better than we'd suspected from the videos and so on. He says, "It feels solid and comfortable in the hand and the way it displays photos, videos and Web pages on its gorgeous screen makes other smart phones look primitive." And this is it, isn't it? It's got what's relatively speaking, a huge and high-resolution screen, a battery life such as we've not seen before, and there's a revolutionary and attractive way of interacting with the device. But then he goes on bitch, bitch, bitching about "features". The only hint of a serious drawback there seems to be the quality of AT & T's network, but Walt has a bee in his bonnet about "features". Deja vu: isn't this a familiar complaint about the iPods - that they don't have this or that "feature" that you wouldn't want and that would get in the way? Walt can sync the device with Outlook, but he, apparently, sees it as a problem that he wouldn't be able to transfer addresses from an old phone. He can't edit a PDF. He wants more buttons (although that would seem to ruin the simplicity of operation of the device). And so on, and so forth. It's a bit like Vladimir Askenazy has just played the piano for him, and Walt says, "But he didn't make me a cup of coffee."
I INVERTED COMMA m very sure COMMA personally speaking COMMA that we will find ourselves adjusting our writing style to suit this OPEN QUOTE breakthrough device CLOSE QUOTE PERIOD Sm ppl hav allrdy dne so for othr fnes PERIOD It INVERTED COMMA s good that you can listen to music while you INVERTED COMMA re typing COMMA as it can take a while to get used to this PERIOD
guys.. more than half of these can be upgraded through software.. don't know why they didn't just included, but they will sooner or later.
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