Wednesday, July 18, 2007

So when Apple goes after bloggers, we're evil. But when Valleywag does it, it's entertainment.

I've been debating whether to post anything about this. But here goes. Sorry I was out of the loop a bit the last few days. Life is tough when you're on the lam. I've been holed up with lawyers and private eyes and computer security consultants after discovering a few invasions of privacy that may or may not have crossed over the line of legality but definitely fall outside the boundaries of what most decent civilized human beings consider to be appropriate behavior.

I don't want to get into details but let's just say it sort of almost makes a person begin to fear for the safety of himself and the people around him. It's creepy. It's gross. It's wrong. I will be blogging when possible over the next few days but might not have much time. So bear with me until we can get everything straightened out. FYI, I'm not saying who did this but I have a pretty good idea and I bet you do too (cough sodomite cough). To whatever bit of pond scum is doing this stuff, let me say this: This was fun, up to a point. You've gone past that point. Stop.

72 comments:

Jason said...

I wish I knew what you were hinting at.

Anyone care to enlighten me??

Anonymous said...

People, quit going after FSJ. This blog is fun as is, so keep your dirty hands off of FSJ's identity.

faddah said...

so what gives, boss? you need us to go rough up... errrm... uh... have a conversation with some people about this? those valleywag a-holes? all i'm saying is: accidents happen. that's all i'm saying. that's all i'm saying.

so what gives? any further details on this? did valleywag phreaque your ip or something to try and find out who you are? i hope they don't. i like the mystery remaining what it is.

bobdmac said...

Are you referring to something beyond the rigged e-mail that those guys sent you and the ip snooping that placed you in the Boston area?

Anonymous said...

News on Valleywag, before FSJ? Shurely not...

http://www.amazon.com/Options-Secret-Life-Steve-Parody/dp/0306815842/ref=sr_1_15/102-9602476-5114526?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1180665876&sr=8-15

Does this mean the real fake will finally be unmasked? Or will it be like Batman - even though it's blindingly obvious that it's Bruce Wayne, nobody can apparently connect the dots even though it's staring them in the face?

vaporland said...

ease up on the kona gold, dude...

Anonymous said...

In Soviet Russia, accidents have you!

Anonymous said...

That's it. Enough is enough. Time to send in the Israeli enforcers.

Scumbags. It's enough to laugh; you don't have to peek behind every curtain to see how the magic works.

Emad said...

Ouch!
You made your point pretty clear.

Emad =P

Hawkes said...

Steve, you're teh man, don't take any shit from anyone!

I'll start a fund to protect you!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you freaking bastards. Lay off FSJ.

John said...

Those bastages! FSJ should be left alone. The mystery of his identity is part of why this blog is so great. Anyone digging too deep will be crucified by FSJ's loyal (hypnotized) followers.

Brendastarlet said...

I don't want to know you. That's like finding out the ending to Harry Potter, which is that Hermoine....

faddah said...

one more thing, per usual:

don't take any guff from these swine!!

fake apple fanboi said...

You need to create a diversion so you'll get those bastards confused, Jobso... Or you could kill them all...

love
- fake apple fanboi

Anonymous said...

uh- you know, FSJ- no one actually reads ValleyWag anyway...

Brady1984 said...

I suppose insightful comments by an mystery man in an industry dominated by ego and outdated ideologies would actually ruffle some feathers. Who would have thought...

Anonymous said...

Reading FSJ is like eating a hot dog. If you know too much, it's not very good anymore....

Jason said...

oooh - cnet.com posts the dirt.

http://news.com.com/8301-10784_3-9746593-7.html?part=rss&subj=news&tag=2547-1_3-0-5

Ryan said...

Owen Thomas at Valleywag seems to think your comments on this are "rambling." Perhaps he's a touch jealous of your superior creativity and writing skills. We got your back, FSJ.

Anonymous said...

An open letter to iTards everywhere....

He whoeth unmasks FS and expects to basque in his/her (but I suspect it'll be a him) 15 minutes of glory will instead find that you're the ONE neighbor that called the cops on the greatest party the neighborhood had ever seen (with all the other neighbors in attendance).

Let's just say you might you'll want to make sure your cat is happy indoors and that you never need another job (cuz you'll be having a lot of interviews with FS fans on the other side of the desk).

And we won't care if you methods were ethical or legal... we will simply hate you.

So basically you will be at least as hated as BillyG or Monkey Boy or Larry Ellison, with none of their wealth, perks or security.

Choose wisely.

Anonymous said...

FSJ-

Don't let anyone water down the spice of your salsa.

Anonymous said...

Is it time for FSJ to pull a Dr Who? And does that mean FSJ becomes someone else or that someone else becomes FSJ?

Boan said...

DAMN!!!!!! Why did you have to give out the ending to the Harry Potter novel!

You A-HOLE! I loved Hermoni or Hermoine or whatever she is called....

BTW Leave our main man money FSJ alone!

Robert Scoble said...

Are you saying that Valleywag shouldn't go after Robert Scoble?

Seems there's a bit of hypocrisy here.

Seems that fake Steve can't take the heat in the kitchen. You take joy in attacking bloggers, so why shouldn't you be in for the same treatment?

David W. said...

FSJ: onion router!

Anonymous said...

>>It's creepy. It's gross. It's wrong.

Being a fake real person isn't creepy, gross and wrong???!!

Give me a break. It's call karma.

Anonymous said...

Sue them Fake Steve, sue them!

I just started a blog about you:
IAmNotFakeSteve.com
It's only aim is to find out who you are, but I will never send paid people go after you. Because if I found you too soon it will kill my business model: asking people whether they are you and bringing traffic to my future Monster Ad Program.

Anonymous said...

I'll say it, since nobody else has the guts: FSJ = Fake Harry Potter.

Deal with it.

Jeff said...

uhhh, "sodomite"?

what's next, racial slurs?

=bg= said...

Get Moshe, Yuri, and Tatiana on this, STAT.

Mossad's original motto: be-tachbūlōt ta`aseh lekhā milchāmāh (Hebrew: בתחבולות תעשה לך מלחמה‎, "For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war." - Proverbs XXIV, 6 or the less accurate but more recognised translation "By way of deception thou shalt make war.")

Anonymous said...

oh crap...yikes stalkers abound eeek FSJ Lock your doors close your windows hide.

Valleywag has lost its mind and has snapped
to find out who you really are

Creepy Shit FSJ.......those bastards should just go away
from you They don't deserve to have attention from some one like you whos rich who has created the iphone

Go away Valleywag Stalkers! go away or get shot.

Anonymous said...

Leave FSJ alone, did none of you ever see The Wizard of Oz?!?!? Remember what happened when Dorothy saw the man behind the curtain??? It ruined the magic, FSJ do whatever you have to to remain a mystery!

Anonymous said...

Why not pull the Spartacus defense and have everyone to claim to be FSJ?

Anonymous said...

can friggin Bobtard Woodward be on the west coast?
dude, i didn't invent this.

David Chartier said...

I don't care how lame this sounds, but I am genuinely saddened by the fact that people won't just let this issue die. FSJ - you have every right to remain FSJ if that's what you want, and I truly wish these jackasses would stop bothering you.

Rock on FSJ.

Anonymous said...

Heh....it's funny, that's all. All Sitening did was to poke a little fun.

If you dish it out, you should to be able to take a little too. It's harmless...

Chill out dude :)

Marcos El Malo said...

I know FSJ's real identity. (Not really, but I'd like to see those Valleywags come sniffing around my house.

Alternately, we could do the Spartacus maneuver, and all claim to be FSJ.

Toki-chan said...

Good grief, I looked up sodomite.... wow. Defiantly new word that I did not want to know; but it defiantly gets your point across. You know this might just egg them on though. I hope it doesn't but it just might. *pats on back*

Not Paul said...

A Boston IP? It wasn't me. I'm not FSJ. I swear it.

Anne said...

I think a case could be made that you both have the potential of being "entertaining" and "evil". I suspect the motives differ.

One wonders the impact on traffic for each site if one fades. As I understand it now, it appears to be a symbiotic relationship. Hopefully, the relationship won't change.

Perhaps, I'm content not knowing the real Steve Jobs or Nick Denton.

Moeskido said...

Assuming the worst happens, and we lose FSJ to the efforts of a predatory gossip blogger whose only interest is in page hits, we should all avoid reading that site, and tell others to do the same.

This site is a daily source of excellent satire and revelation. Swift would be proud.

There's no good reason a scumtard should be allowed to deprive us of FSJ and then profit from it.

bytes and beans said...

is pregnant?

ssteve said...

Here's the plan: as many bloggers, CEOs, and tech writers as possible (including FSJ) all admit that they are FSJ. With all the decoys, no one will know who the real FSJ is. It's such a crazy scheme it. just. might. work.

Yet another steve said...

Okay, I'll start.
I am Fake Steve Jobs.

Anonymous said...

Scoble !!!
You galah - You just don't get it ... any of it!

Anyway FSJ, I found this quote, on Toki-Chan's blog, apparently by some dude called Isaiah 41:1 (a strange handle, go figure)
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

On the other-hand FSJ, If they unmask you, I'm off.

Anonymous said...

Whoever is going after FSJ is truly pond scum.

Think about it: They're trying to find the identity of an anonymous parody blogger.

Not someone giving out industrial secrets or selling specs to China or bugging a Watergate Hotel room.

They must have an extremely small penis to have to drum up some blog hits by outing FSJ.

arkaoss said...

Ok let me be the first!
I AM FAKE STEVE JOBS!

AlBeRtO said...

Just to tell you that I am with you, FSJ.

Doppelgänger said...

"I am Sparticus", "No I am Sparticus", "No No I am Sparticus" "No I really am Sparticus" " He's right, he really is Sparticus, we're outta here"

Mark Scrimshire said...

May be we could throw in a diversionary tactic by getting Steve Balmer to write a FakeSteveBalmer blog.....

Mike Cane said...

Hey, Scotard, STFU. No one cares what you think, especially when YOU think you're doing something called thinking. You've been unmasked many a time as a fat blob with no internal compass. How many Intel tats are on your ass this week?

I don't want to know who FSJ "really" is. NO ONE who adores FSJ wants to know!!

I agree with everyone else: whoever rips off Batman's mask had better GTF OUT of Gotham City ASAP! I'll be another one on your ass.

Trust me, you do NOT want that.

Go ask all of Finland.

Chris said...

It'd be a shame for you to be unveiled, and it's unfortunate that someone is going so far to find you. This is is an amusing blog, and it'd be a shame for it to disappear because someone went to far.

Jason said...

Spartacus - definitely.

I'm coming clean.

I'm FSJ.

Mike Cane said...

OK, the party is over.

I Am Fake Steve Jobs

Tony Curtis said...

Re: the Spartacus thing--
I am a singah of sawngz.

bix said...

those valleywag motherbastards!

Anonymous said...

Spartacus time.

Who wants to start the "I am Fake Steve Jobs" group on Facebook?

Toki-chan said...

Ok... I Am Fake Steve Jobs!

Trev Page said...

It's much more fun reading FSJ when you don't know who it really is. Why spoil the fun?
Stupid frigtards, knock it off.

Rick said...

I agree that an investigation into who FSJ really is isn't cool. It's entertaining to read and if there are nefarious means used that really isn't cool.

But "sodomite," FSJ? That isn't very cool, either. I agree with commenter Jeff.

siphon colder said...

I'm Spartacus!

Anonymous said...

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Chemical Cash said...

Actually I am.

Fake Bill Gates didn't do so well.

Fake Kim Jung iL is promising but I have been getting too many NSA hits

Fake Branson always resulted in taunting regarding the naming of my company over my possible sexual experience.

Fake Scoble? why? he's fake enough? I mean where is the fun in that? Like the Games industry has Jack Thompson to laugh at we need here in this industry to laugh at Scoble. Okay and laugh at Arrington too.

Fake Joanne had Bloomsbury and JK Rowling contracting out midgets with prosthetic poison dentures on me.

So I settled on the most safest Fake alias: that of Steve Jobs. Because once you cross him or his zombies....your brains are toast...burnt with butter ever so lightly on its side...*shiver*

But the gig is up.

Oh and the Boston hit? heh proxied through....Fake Steve Jobs is in Korea...the most non-Apple country on earth...ironic eh?

Mortuis said...

Use TOR (The Onion Router) dude. Then you don't have to worry about people nabbing your IP address.

John said...

Use TOR dude, then you don't have to worry about your IP being nabbed.

Anonymous said...

how could anyone who says their favourite book is the bible not know what a sodomite is?

it will save you -

http://www.sexinchrist.com/index.html

Greg said...

"Fake Steve Jobs" should be an eternal, anonymous title - like the "Phantom Gourmet" (only infinitely grander). Should you decide to unmask and step down, another FSJ should be nominated to take your place.

Although anyone could claim to be FSJ, the original URL would carry the honorary title - and a mysterious board including all Past FSJ's could confirm the selection of a successor. Analogy: FSJ is to Steve Jobs as the mysterious board is to Skull and Bones. Would be fun.

coaster1robert said...

Fight the good fight (FSJ)

Anonymous said...

Valleywag, piss off!!

If you think outing fsj would bring you fame and glory, you are a complete bunch of losers, look in the mirror ValleyWag, yeah thats how losers look like.

Mike Cane said...

>>>Should you decide to unmask and step down, another FSJ should be nominated to take your place.

No, we should never know about it. Sort of like when Doctor Who regenerates -- except, since we won't see it, not exactly so.

FakeSteveBalmer said...

Seems like someone suffers from paranoia.