Well our first store in Scotland opens tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. sharp in Glasgow and the crazy Scottish computer hooligans are already preparing for a wee frenzy with lots of head butting and flag waving and angry songs and chanting and taunting between the Mac faithful and their dreaded rivals, the Windows fans. (Shurely Celtic and Rangers? Ed.) See a story about it and a photo of the store here. Most excited of all are long-suffering members of the Glasgow Macintosh Users Group (GlasMUG) (website here) who have vowed to take to the streets wearing their team's colors (black scarf, black turtleneck, blue jeans and white trainers) singing "Flower of Scotland" and carrying iPods and looking for Zune users (easy to spot, dressed in brown) to beat up. Personally I saw this coming ages ago and for years I've fought against the idea of opening a store in Scotland. Anyway, I got overruled. Glasgowians, in the immortal words of your great writer Jeff Torrington: Swing your hammers, and let's see what happens.
All joking aside: Scots, I know you're a restless and angry people at heart, but let's try to keep it peaceful, bokay? It's what our brand is about. We're all about peace and love and staying Zen. Negative people upset us. But if you can get in a few kicks on some filthy bastard Microsoft fans, and nobody sees you, well, no harm no foul as they say, and you will, in fact, be restoring a sense of childlike wonder to my life. Namaste.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Just remember: If it's nae Apple, it's crap
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40 comments:
"Glasgowians?" I think they are called "Glaswegians".
Peace, out.
Och iPod tha'noo !!! !
I look forward to purchasing the regionalised product of the McIntosh, adorned with Ives approved bespoke tartan panelling.
See yoo Jimmay ... (etc etc)
It's "Glaswegians", Fake Steve
It's 'Glaswegians', Fake Steve
A person who resides in the city of Glasgow is properly called a "Glaswegian", FYI, not "Glasgowian".
Nice one. I can just see the tartan army going barmy over the new shiny White things in-store.
You seem very in touch with the bretheren of Scotland, and its impressive.
I happen to be Welsh, mind you, but whoever said i was not open to new culture was nae right thats for sure, wahaye man.
Keep up the charade, Mr FSJ, the world needs men like you.
Negative people upset me too
FSJ,
I am mentioning this only for fear of your safety should you ever visit the Glasgow Apple Store.
You don't refer to people from Glasgow as Glasgowians. In the words of Wikipedia (if you can trust it).
"A person from Glasgow is known as a Glaswegian. Glaswegian is also the name of the local dialect."
the correct term for a head butt in Scotland is a 'Glasgow kiss'. Otherwise, FSJ, you seem to have captured the spirit of things urban-Scottish.
Whale oil beef hooked! This is grate nuse. Are the Apple staff going to be telling customers they have three sizes of iMacs, wee, not so wee, and fargin huge. Might be a nice touch. Maybe you could get someone to play Fat Bastard on opening day, what?
I thought we have already beening restoring a sense of childlike wonder to YOUR life, my highness.
all these ppl stop to browsing the word of god (no, what i meant was "your blog") every day, whether they were working, studying or shagging, the global productivity must down 10% by this one single post....
wasn't it what your dream was all about at the age of 6-month?
peach, out, El.
Steve, you're opening a store in Glasgow? Are you sure? I can see some Apple staff getting fired here - didn't they discover that Glasgow is full of ned-tards? Once they've stolen all the shiny new iMacs, they'll be off down to Asda for desks to put them on. But, you could always visit the Barra's on a Sunday to buy them back, or any other fake Apple goods for that matter.
Steve, you're opening a store in Glasgow? Are you sure? I can see some Apple staff getting fired here - didn't they discover that Glasgow is full of ned-tards? Once they've stolen all the shiny new iMacs, they'll be off down to Asda for desks to put them on. But, you could always visit the Barra's on a Sunday to buy them back, or any other fake Apple goods for that matter.
As a Glaswegian (Glasgowian) currently living in Boston, I am a recent convert to the Mac while living in the USofA, and I am loving the tranquility and child like wonder it has brought to my life. However there are times that I miss my angry restless roots, so to celebrate the Glasgow opening, I might just head up to your Chestnut Hill Store and stick a few Glasgow kisses on the staff. Spread the love n'all that.
That's CELTIC, not Celtics - aren't the Celtics a team in that big-girl's blouse sport which you yanks refer to as "football"?
People from Glasgow are glaswegians.
Peace out.
PS - The illustration is so not working for me dude. I'm into suspending my disbelief and reading about a fake CEO blogging on the internet as much as the next guy, but I find it hard to believe the driving force behind apple would choose a dorky illustration like that for himself. Namaste.
Thank you Glasgowians for proving your all a bunch of geography-flame-bate-tards, just like everyone else.
...now if only you could find a half decent goalkeeper, as Jimmy Hill would say.
HIBS!
So, will it be called the MacStore, instead of the Mac Store?
People from Glasgow are "Weegians" or "Weegies" Lovely folk.
Is it just me or doesn't that guy on the left look like Frodo? I knew Hobbits would go for iMacs!
Some still don't get it. Or do not have the Zen to. How do you bear it, FSJ?
Addicted reader from Cologne, France
Quick question:
Do any of emad's comments ever say anything??
I mean - does the dude comment just for the sake of commenting?
I mean sure - we all get a sense of childlike wonder when we see our comment in the first position - but this dude is beginning to irritate me.
I'm not drinking the Haterade, or anything - but can someone write an emad blocker? (Someone asked about one of those before - and I'm on board!)
Anyway Jobwegians - namaste.
J
PS - Gotta agree with the majority - as far as not liking the Illustration. It kinda drops the deuce.
Steve, try not to be too disappointed if the new store doesn't work out as well as you'd hoped.
Scotland is a different land. As Mike Myers reminded us, "... most Scottish food is based on a dare."
Hmmm, how about a deep-fried iPod?
Peace,
Carl.
FSJ - why oh why Glasgow? We all know Edinburgh is infinitely superior and much more in line with the Apple brand. Also, in future please refer to them as 'Weegies, that really annoys them.
Altogher now...as sung by opposing fans of Rangers and Celtic across Scotland...
"In your glasgow slums
You rake in the bucket for somthing to eat
You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat
In your Glasgow slums"
iPod ya bass!!
Marky
I was brought up in Fife (between Dundee and Edinburgh, on the East coast) and a general exclamation of surprise there is:
"Sha whoor sur!"
Which roughly translated = "You whore sir".
Can also be replaced by the slightly more edgy "Sha cunt sur!" when you are totally caught off guard.
Can be used thus:
"Hey Shug, cummin tae the new Aiple store in Glasgae?"
"An Aiple store in Scotland? Sha cunt sur!"
Ed, stop calling me "Shurely."
We pure LUV yoo, FSJ, so we dae.
Greetings and salutations from all of the GlasMUGgers getting ready to hit the queue around midnight (ie, about 20 minutes from now).
Shame you couldn't sort out a wee preview of The Store for the Weegie faithful (a thing of beauty if the foties are to be believed), but never mind, we won't hold it against you.
Anyway, thanks for the menshy.
:o)
FSJ - are you taking anyone on in the new store? I'd love that sort of MacJob.
And take heed of that old Glasgow proverb:
"If at first you don't succeed,
In with the boot and then the heid"
Free haggis with every new iPod?
Take no notice FSJ. The Scots are a well-balanced lot at heart. It's all those years of having a chip on both shoulders.
C'mon youse kin weegies, its 10oclock, howsit goan in Buchanan Street?
Whores the foties but?
Shahoorsur.
i walked past last night and some nerds were already queuing. i suspect they got bottled come closing time.
Glasgowians? It's Glaswegians ya numpty!
My Flickr photo set from this morning can be found here.
I suspect Glasgow was chosen due to it being the second largest shopping centre in the UK. Edinburgh just doesn't compete on that level.
Edinburgh is for tourists, it sells the more twee palatable side of Scottishness. Glasgow is populated by Neds and Chavs and they love the designer labels - and that afterall is what Apple is, a fashionable designer label ...
FSJ,
I know, I know, but I can't resist being a commentard this time.
Glascowegian or whatever is plain wrong.
Glass Vegan Vegan
(Glass Onion is Liverpool)
I myself saw some Glasgowtardians today look at the shop like it was a spaceship landed from a better world. Which it might as well be on a rainy day west of the soapline.
Celtic = Apple
Rangers = Windows
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