Okay. So I told Little Fake Stevie I’d sit in for him a couple days while he gets his chakras aligned or whatever it is he does when he isn’t babbling on about the iPod or whatever other toy he’s paid some schmo to invent and then takes credit for.
Don’t get me wrong: I love LFS. He’s my buddy. My brother in arms. There’s no one I’d rather be in a foxhole with. With a good water cannon at the ready and plenty of frigtard targets. That’s one Buddhist with a killer instinct.
Anyway, back to this little blog. Sure. Fake Larry can be blogger guy for a week or so as long as it doesn’t interfere with the training sessions for the next-gen America’s Cup crew.
Jesus. That brings up some bad memories. Seriously boys, you call that debacle racing? They’re lucky I just pulled that shitbag captain off the wheel and didn’t keel haul him. If there hadn’t been so many cameras there’s no telling what lessons would have been imparted. The beauty of big-time sailing is anything goes in international waters. If you get my meaning.
But I digress. As you’ve probably guessed,I’m LFS’s bud Fake Larry Ellison. As LFS might say, I’m the guy who screwed IBM out of its own database business with its own technology. It was a beautiful thing. I invented Oracle. Maybe you’ve heard of it.
And as for those other asshats who claim they co-founded Oracle: they can go pound sand, as we used to say in Chicago. Of course I would never say that now, now that I’m all Zen and samarai like. Not it’s like: “Bygones.”
So here’s your blog kids. I gotta go do important stuff now. Like pretend to care about databases and Oracle World Shanghai or some shit.
In reality I have to review the “little woman’s” latest chapters. You can’t be too careful about what gets out there.
Friday, August 03, 2007
So FSJ calls...
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29 comments:
What kind of software is this Orifice? Think you can just unleash it on the internets? It's not a truck!! It's not something that you can just dump stuff on!
Can you understand English? That's the only statement I'm going to make!
I run the internets! Maybe you've heard of it!?!?
FSJ's market cap exceeds yours, Larry. And he invented Steve Wozniak.
Interesting this pic of Ellison wearing an HP-branded shirt
NIce to meet you. *waves* Good first post.
Heard of Oracle? I've used the !@#$% thing! It's not the software itself that's expensive and painful, it's the psychotherapy you need afterwards...
Perhaps Fake Oracle is better than Real Oracle? It couldn't be worse... could it?
Fake Steve and Fake Larry,
Couldn't you think of better names - those are grandpa names. I've got a new acronim for you, the FNC - fake nerd crew.
Seriously are you guys just drinking fake wine and talking fake politics up there?
Larry, your wearing a turtleneck in the middle of July in global warming season - what would Al Gore have to say about that Steve?
If you guys head South before I go to jail, let's party.
Forget this crap!
I saw GOD last night!
read about it:
http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com
You sir - are NO FSJ...
You *could* be entertaining, though.
Why is Larry wearing an HP gimme-shirt? I thought he was rich or something? Oh, wait, I guess that's Fake Larry?
Ersatz Ellison
Rapier wit won't dethrone
King of All Satire
The Difference Between God and Larry Ellison: God Doesn't Think He's Larry Ellison.
Have LFS finished thoose wedding photos?
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?file=/chronicle/archive/2004/01/14/MNGS649LVB1.DTL
Welcome to Fake Redwood Shores, FLE. I suppose you'll tell us about your Fake MiG soon enough.
How about your own 'tag line'? Something like 'I didn't invent the database, may be you don't use one'
Go for it FL, this'll make the blog interesting
Larry, is the character Alexavier Young in Melanie Croft's roman a clef "Man Trouble" supposed to be Russel Simmons?
Samarai?
What debacle was that then?
Please clarify who, where, when and whether lubricant was used?
Dear Larry : you made my day, as your buddy LFS does every single morning of The Creation.
Bless You,
Yours, sincerely,
_Little Marcintosh
At one time HP was the IT sponsor for Larry yacht.
I think a better name for Fake Larry Ellison would be Leisure Suit Larry E.
hey fake larry, welcome to the fake A list!
Samarai? Watch out, fake Musahi Minamoto will gut you like a fake pig!
Fake Larry sounds too much like Fake Steve. I'd suggest using a different vocabulary. Plus add a line "guestblog by Larry" at the start of every entry to make it less confusing.
Delightfully creepy. Not up there with FSJ.... yet. More on a par with Valleywag. Nevertheless, I think you've got potential kid.
Is that Madonna next to you, Lar? Sheesh, I hope you have had all your shots.
Larry, go back to sailing and fighting (A)SAP. Shouldn't you be blogging about kicking Hasso Plattner's a$$? What is all this nonsense about aligning chakras? This isn't Oracle solid state memory tuning blog. FSJ is a higher state of mind. Namaste
As an oracle maybe you can give us some insight into the new iMacs.
What's with the chick's arm? She looks like she's scratching her humpback.
TECHNOLOGY
SILICON VALLEY or the WELSH VALLEY
I have just seen the piece on CO2 Emissions on the internet.
Take a look at the link below;
http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSL1847347220070719
I look forward to any comments you may have.
"The beauty of big-time sailing is anything goes in international waters. If you get my meaning."
oh yeah. i get yer meanin'. like a whole ship that's long, and firm, and chocked full of able seamen. filled with nothing but cabin boys and first mates to obey your every command.
what was the name of that village people song, again ...?
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