Just heard from one of our sources that Denton and Bigglesworth are convinced -- again -- that they've found FSJ and will be announcing it tomorrow. They've hired some expert who studies writing styles and are convinced that it's Dave Winer. Big scoop is going to hit in the morning. Denton has been sending us threatening emails all day, saying, "Confess, Dave, because even if you don't we're going to run with the story anyway. Ha! Sorry to ruin your day but it's our bare-knuckles, no-holds-barred Fleet Street style of journalism, like it or not!" Nick Denton is 42 years old and widely acclaimed as the greatest reporter in the world.
Monday, August 06, 2007
Valleywag still hunting for FSJ
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56 comments:
Some asshole bradstoned me on the highway today.
Well, life deals us all our cards. Pussy Galore has a lot to answer for!!! I've lost my pussy, forever!
Whole Foods might have an opening for a new CEO - Dan Lyons, you'd be the perfect candidate.
You can't Brad Stone what has already been Brad Stoned...
yes, the dentard does have a firm retrospective grasp of the obvious. he's like a master at it, or some such shit. with an orange jump suit in one hand and a #2 pencil in the other, he's sure to unmask fsj yet...
Lol. So does that mean your Austin Powers because they never catch you?
Great satire, Steve ;-)
I saw you from CNBC, so I've decided to check your blog out. Great blog.
-Cat
I knew it had to be Winer, with all the "I invented the iPhone", "I invented the iPod", "I invented RSS" shit.
This Irishguy won't let me have any fun at BStone's expense over at wiki.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User_talk:Irishguy#Brad_Stone
Friggtard.
Hey FSJ, thanks for the lowdown on Valleywag. Added them as one of my daily sites about two months ago thinking I'd get interesting inside valley info. Started to get bored and frankly, I would have to squint to look at its garish layout and typefaces. I wish there was a reference guide with your opinion on things, so I could check in advance. Kind of like a Consumer's Report for Apple devotees. Now that you've fixed the cellphone mess, when is Apple going to buy The Gap and set the fashion world straight?
Man! Brad Stone really killed it for me...Sorry. It's like finding out that Santa doesn't exist and trying really hard to convince myself that he really does exist. Why couldn't those reporter leave you alone and let you do your thing? Life was good, no?
"Nick Denton is 42 years old and widely acclaimed as the greatest reporter in the world."
And don't forget. He's a sodomite. A macrocephalic sodomite.
I'm doing an analysis of Dave Winer's Twitter feed, correlating it against FSJ posts. Every fifteen minutes or so Winer twitters something like, "I'm eating lasagna," or "I'm eating waffles," or I'm eating a pastrami sandwich," or "I'm eating pizza."
But about twice a day there is a pause of about 30 minutes. At that point a FSJ post appears.
I'm convinced that Winer is FSJ.
Steve wins
WTF do you expect from Gawker/ValleyWag?
FSJ is like any conspiracy theory. No matter how many times you look at Kennedy tapes, you will still find someone bradstoning it.
Hmm... I'd heard Bob Nardelli will be the new boss of FSJ. All your monies are belong to us.
Man seriously, Dave Winer? Guy's got the social skills of a gnat. He's as bad as Arrington with his grumpy attitude. No way it could be Winer. Not enough finesse, Winer is WAY too blunt and callous to pull this off.
comanchezen, toki-chan, anonymous,
you do realize that this Dave Lyons guy gives no credit to you guys. FSJ is nothing without the commenters and emailers.
As a side issue, something stinks about this entire fiasco. I hope it isn't grandmother's body.
...man, this is like a 'crying game' moment. what next, FSJ likes to wear womens underwear.
wow this blog is just amazing, can't believe the steve work... Keep it up
Eliena Andrews
UK
The Ultimate Tech Blog
I still think you are as real as my blog.
Nice pic, but I didn't think Nick Denton liked pussy.
sounds like Denton needs to be treated for his chronic bradstone.
All of Caledonia weeps over the loss of FSJ.
As for Mr. B.S. (and how appropriate is that?), I'm sure he's inordantly pleased with himself.
In honor of the poets better than myself who've appeared here, we peer into the mind of this B.S. reporter's innermost thoughts:
Just doing my job
Patting myself on my back
Destroying beauty.
Over and Out from Caledonia,
->AMD FanBoi
super site thanks.
This is an awesome site!
Much like http://www.attractwomen.com.au
Some people really don't know what to do, do they?
Lol!
Emad =P
FSJ is now officially fake. Thanks for ruining a good thing, Brad Stone. What purpose did that serve?
deader: "This Dave Lyons guy gives no credit to you guys. FSJ is nothing without the commenters and emailers."
Start a union! I think they're talking about starting a blog commenters union at the Yearly Kos right this moment. If we don't start a union, the comments may be outsourced to India, which could contribute to global warming.
To get the ball rolling, on 9/11/07 we should all not comment for 24 hours. Also, let's promise not to wear Wal-Mart flip flops on that day.
Now that the guy who's been delivering Apple's keynotes for almost a decade has been revealed to be Fake Steve Jobs, the hunt for Real Steve Jobs is on.
Real Steve Jobs, who is supposed to be much better looking than the 'Keynote guy' ("he is really more of a Noah Wiley kinda guy", as one source put it) is rumored to have fled his house in the Florida Keys to avoid the inevitable onslaught of journalists, bloggers and paparazzi.
More to follow.
For Christ's sake- let it go, Nick!
They're still hunting?
You Wascally Wabbit you. =O)
No, you see, it just doesn't work now.
You're a journo. VW thinks they're journos. It's a bitchfight.
The mystery is gone. The fun is over.
Now it is just sad.
Fuck Brad Stone.
The pain of being found must be the emotional equivalent of passing a brad stone. Owie!
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The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Brad Stone, You Suck!
The Betrayal Of Fake Steve Jobs: Daniel Lyons, You Suck!
What I loved was that the blog was anonymous. There was always the possibility that it was Steve himself or someone deep in Apple writing this. Now the truth comes out and it kills it for me. Maybe it will work as a weekly column in Forbes - who knows? Maybe it just needs a bit of time for the truth to fall away.
i will gladly expose fake steve to them... for... one meeeeee-llyun dol-lars. mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ...!!!
i understand denton & bigglesworth are also hot on the trail of who's responsible for trying to constantly frame paris & linday, and who shot j.r.
at this rate, cbs will be offering them their own series — CSI: Cupertino!!
oh I like "Dentard". We have to work with that one. Mini me could be "Thomtard".
http://store.apple.com/1-800-MY-APPLE/WebObjects/AppleStore?family=iMac
Nice stuff, FSJ.
Will you take a check?
Steve, heard you were outed - good luck with that! I decided to come out in the meantime!
So, Steve-o, buttoned down feckin' red tie Steve-o. I'm in Venezuela (have you heard of it?) doing a deal and I'm checking out your blag and all the commentards are called dijo. Crazy.
Anyway, the feckers that outed you have nada chance of finding me. Adios, my friend.
Dear Fake Steve,
You would not believe the frigTards I spoke to on your AppleCare hotline. They said you are charging recent purchasers of iLife a second time because they were stupid enough to purchase the product!
Adoro i tuoi commenti, adoro il tuo cinismo. "Dude, I like the friggin Lyons, the inventor of The secret diary....Have you heard of him?" nano nano
Adoro i tuoi commenti, adoro il tuo cinismo. "Dude, I like the friggin Lyons, the inventor of The secret diary....Have you heard of him?" nano nano
Adoro i tuoi commenti, adoro il tuo cinismo. "Dude, I like the friggin Lyons, the inventor of The secret diary....Have you heard of him?" nano nano
I don't care if I know who FSJ is. Sorry, but I don't even know who this Lyons guy is either.
Besides, I always thought FSJ was just a character. And I enjoyed as such, like watching the Simpsons.
So I opened my mail today. Guess who the guest speakers are at homecoming week this year?
Howie Mandel and Woz. In that order.
See? FSJ isn't any fun anymore now that you can't rail against this kind of injustice.
Taco dan,
this lyons guy is an editor at forbes, more than a 9-5 job I am sure.
this lyons guy has to do a bit of research to make this blog believably unbelievable, at least another half time job.
this lyons guy is 46 and has 2 year old twins according to the SFGate
WWGD?
the grandmothers would be flipping in their graves at this point.
what he does say is this:
Jobs "takes himself very seriously, which makes him ripe for parody," Lyons said of Jobs. "He's a spiritually gifted guy, a visionary leader and a bona fide genius who has a real dark side that fuels his brilliance. He has these two sides at war inside him which makes him complicated, interesting, intriguing and also really funny."
This is the most unfake thing that could be said about the real deal Steve. I understand people like him in my daily life. The man has depth in his eyes like no other person I have seen speak candidly about his work. Even in goofy still shots of videos that people capture or pick out of the web, it's always there. And that's why he captivates us and even the slightest possibility that fake may be real inspires and spellbinds so many of us.
I like this blog. I am not demystified by any unveilings. Actually I read it longer ago than are in the archives here, when fake was just a 51 and 5/12 year old CEO stating his mind.
As for class action manuevers, the daily kos and any other politics, I'm too dead to be an activist anymore. My daily existence hangs in the balance. My words are all I have. They will come and go as the seasons of life. And the outsourcing of comments was already thought of by the likes of Steve Balmer and you know what he is capable of.
its a wonder the truth is out, though for some time now u were "Bangalored" lol
They're going about this all the wrong way.
Just set a bear trap with a turtleneck sweater and a lettuce sandwich as bait. You'll either catch FSJ or RSJ.
Either way.
@deader than a door nailed shut
credit? i don't need no stinking credit. i do this for the same reason i masturbate: because its good for me...
by the by, you looked & sounded great on the (click on the launch link on that page to get the video in its player window up). good job, my brother. namasté.
Maybe he will get like a Pulitzer for this ground breaking journalism - now if only he could find those WMD in Iraq.
you know maybe it would be a good idea to now stick Valleywag on a floppy disk and put it inside of a dell comp with windows 2000 and let Valleywag's souls rot away 2000 years in windows hell right along with worthless disposable Brad stone. and then can catch the blue screen of death and have Brad's stones thrown at them till they get knocked out and see nothing but blue in their eyes
and then the devil will be there to make them total Server slaves and they'll be suffering by every error that comes up till they vanish away forever in windows hell.
meow.
lol
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