Thursday, December 13, 2007

I am so sick of Jon Rubinstein stealing credit for inventing the iPod


See the Wall Street Journal story here. They refer to Ruby as the "Podfather." Now look. I suppose it's natural in the aftermath of a big hit product that everyone who worked on it, no matter how remotely, likes to claim all the credit. It's not something I would do but I'm not as insecure as some other people. Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan, as Creedence Clearwater Revival once sang. Anyway I think it's pretty clear that I invented the friggin iPod. I mean it's on Wikipedia. Still, Ruby needs to puff himself up on behalf of Palm, where he's now working on a doomed phone platform that he thinks will compete against iPhone. He's even been poaching some of our engineers. I told them, Guys, this is amazing, I mean it's the first time I've seen rats swimming toward a sinking ship. But whatever. They all think they're going to get rich by snapping up big chunks of Palm's stock now and hanging on until Elevation flips Palm to Nokia or Motorola. I've bet each one of them a signed hundred dollar bill that no matter how much money they make at Palm it won't be as much as if they'd stayed at Apple. We'll see.

Meanwhile, Ruby, let me send you a personal message. Don't even think about taking any ideas from iPhone or Apple and putting them into your big new Palm phone. Because trust me, I'm watching you. I'm watching you like a hawk. I've got eyes in the back of my friggin head, pal. I've got Moshe and his team going through your trash, breaking into your prototype labs, bribing your component suppliers. We're flying spy planes over your campus and using X-ray cameras to see into your building. You assholes step over the line by a friggin millionth of an inch and I will haul every single one of you into court and I make your life a living hell. I will tie you up in court for years and drain your goddamn bank accounts dry. I mean I will friggin ruin you. See if your big pal Roger wants to bail you out of that jam. Heck, you know what? I might just do it anyway, just for entertainment. Meanwhile, happy holidays to all of you folks and your families. I wish you all the best. Peace out.

19 comments:

OH_Investor said...

Classic!

OH_Investor said...

Classic

Anonymous said...

FSJ,
Mmmm mmmm, that was really, really tasty bait you threw out this time, nudge nudge, wink wink. So tasty, that I just *had* to take a bite.

For the benefit of the those who measure their age in Internet years, who don't remember nor were even born before the advent of the Apple II, it was John F. Kennedy who expressed the "Victory" quote, not John C. Fogarty. The latter was never such a fortunate son.

justflybob said...

Please, oh please, let 2008 be the Year of the Disappearing Frigtards, i.e. those that STILL don't get the running jokes regarding misplaced quotes, geography, etc., etc., etc..

Sheeez

iDavid said...

Evil FSJ is back! Woo hoo!
Now how about some smackdowns on Dell's new tablet and their iMac wannabee? Oh and a random slap to the Scoblizer, just because.

gmhyfd said...

My friend Max invented the Ipod and you stole it from him! He made it for the company he worked for and they didn't understand it's usage or it's power. They never even got a copy right! In that way, you didn't actually steal it. So glad a visionary like you could see it's value. I wouldn't have my shuffle without you!
¨
Namaste

Mike Cane said...

>>>Guys, this is amazing, I mean it's the first time I've seen rats swimming toward a sinking ship.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Scoble Twitter Update: I was gonna announce on 1/15 that I'm starting at Palm. Now I think I'll just say I'm homeless...

Anonymous said...

off-topic.

for readers that have been around a little while, a new verb has been created at urban dictionary that may bring back some memories. see definition 2.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/
define.php?term=emad

Pietro Watanabe said...

Even rats will swim to a sinking ship, when promised golden water wings.

Anonymous said...

it ain't me

LC Fabbiano said...

Almost every inventor plagiarises...I mean, the railway was invented in 600 BC, and the first steam engine was invented nearly a century before the often credited James Watt...but who's ever heard of Thomas Savery?
It happens, just look at that recent issue with Aaron Greenspan who claims to be the real inventor of Facebook...the bottom line is, if you invent something...copyright it QUICK.

Anonymous said...

Whiner-of-the-hour justflybob said...

Please, oh please, let 2008 be the Year of the Disappearing Frigtards, i.e. those that STILL don't get the running jokes regarding misplaced quotes, geography, etc., etc., etc..


Here, here! I'm weary of bitch-tards whining about the correct-tards, who are really in on the joke and playing along. Bob. Please. Just fly away.

Stephen Bolin said...

In case you have not forgotten, Mr. Jobs, the first time rats ran to a sinking ship was when you decided to come back to Apple.

Anonymous said...

Lawsuits! So THAT's what the $15 billion is for. Excellent!

justflybob said...

Yo, anonymous...

Never gonna happen. The "fly" has absolutely nothing to do with my flying anywhere

And kindly refer to me by my my "first" name, OK?

You know... MASTER Just.

And I'll keep referring to you as just another annoying, anonymous Frigtard.

Anonymous said...

If that's not bad enough, I've heard that much of your OS X team have followed Bertrand Serlet on some crazy crusade to help defend his home planet from marauding aliens.

That's all very well, but they've got their priorities wrong. I mean what's more important?

Helping to prevent the extinction of an advanced alien race that has a civilisation stretching back millions of years, or working on making Mac OS X the most amazing operating system for the most amazing shiny objects known to sentient being-kind?

The answer is so obvious, that it's not even worth asking the question.

Anonymous said...

Assholes need a message from sendahole.com.

mousenuts said...

Happy Holidays from the curiously pleasant imitation FSJ!

T’was the night before Christmas, and under your trees
Were lots of new iPods and accessories

The Nanos were there in red, black, green and blue,
And Classics and Touches… a few Shuffles too

An iPhone for someone who’s been extra nice
(you could have bought two at the new lower price!)

There were car kits from Belkin, and earphones from Shure
And a new case from Gucci, lined in real fur

An armband from Nike, a JBL dock
A new iHome stereo radio clock

All iPod-dependent, not Sansa or Zune
Our partners know how to sing a profitable tune!

“Now Monster, now Marware, V-Moda and Griffin!
On Sonnet, on Kensington, Bang & Olufsen!”

The iPod economy’s healthy and strong
And let’s not forget iTunes at one buck per song!

At MacWorld next month, new stuff will appear
Merry Christmas to all and an Apple New Year!

Neil Anderson said...

A millionth of an inch? One microinch. Not cutting much slack there FSJ. :)