Just got torn away from a dinner party to have a chat with my lawyer. (It still feels weird to say "my lawyer." I've never had a lawyer before. Except for that peyote incident when I was in college, and that was a public defender.) Anyway. I'm feeling better because my guy got in touch with someone a level above the bonehead who wrote me those stupid letters, and he was able to find out what the three supposedly "actionable" items are, and they're ridiculous.
First one is the one where I predicted that iPhone would have only one button while on an ayahuasca trip with Sting in the Amazon rain forest. Sure, I wrote this in September 2006 and the one-button iPhone was introduced a few months later, in January 2007. They're alleging my blog post was based on a leak and that it amounts to me printing trade secrets. Words fail me.
Second one was in October 2007 when I hinted about a forthcoming iPhone SDK. Same claim as above. Trade secrets. Equally crazy.
Third was in May 2007 when I said there would be new hardware announced at the WWDC in June. Seemed like a pretty safe guess to me at the time. They're claiming I had sources.
So, yeah. We're feeling pretty good. My lawyer, in fact, was laughing when he told me this. He's like, Hey, go back to your dinner party. But by then I was home and didn't feel like going out again.
Other news from my guy is that Apple's team still wants to propose a cash-for-shutdown offer, but they only want to make the offer in person and they want the two of us to fly out to Cupertino. I was like, Dude, if these fuckers want a sitdown they can fly their fat lawyer asses out here to me, and what's more, tell them they gotta be here Monday, at 4 p.m., and I'll give them fifteen minutes to make their proposal. That way even if they turn around and fly right back it still fucks up their Christmas Eve.
My guy says no way will they agree to that. My feeling is hey, let's see how bad they want to shut this baby down. Especially since we now realize their big "claims" are bullshit. More as this develops. Talk about roller-coaster days. Well I've got to go wrap some presents.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I'm feeling a little bit better now
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203 comments:
They didn't rap you for predicting the white iPhone? I mean, that was a no brainer!
You've got to be bullshitting me. "Trade secret" lawsuits over the iPhone? Every freaking person on the planet knew it was coming! Utter frigtardedness (if that's a word). Friggin' lawyers.
Anyway, have a nice Christmas, and keep us posted.
Hang on, that was the post where you predicted the white iPhone, damn... Apple's really got you there...
NOT.
Relax and have a cocktail or two
Happy Holidays.
RSJ just responded to my email, saying, "I think this is a joke."
I'm a bit annoyed by this, since I was defending you, and now look something of a fool.
I wrote a bit of an inflammatory email to sjobs@apple.com, and actually got a response.
Here is the text of the conversation (read bottom to top, of course)
...
I think this is all a joke. And I think you fell for it.
Steve
On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:35 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm not sure who I've reached here, but in the interest of finishing what you start, this is what I'm referring to:
http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/12/thanks-for-your-support.html
On Dec 22, 2007, at 5:29 PM, Steve Jobs wrote:
What, praytell, are you talking about?
On Dec 22, 2007, at 2:01 PM, Gary Baldwin wrote:
I'm an admitted Apple fanboy, but I can't say I admire this. I would have thought you all would have appreciated the affectionate satire rather than being unaccountable assholes.
Gary Baldwin
Couldn't they have saved a lot of effort and just put another button on the iPhone? Wait... Aren't there three or four? It has the buttons on the side, and then the button on the front and the button for ejecting the SIM card.
I say let's still make a media fuss. Write letters to editors and such (I think there's one at Forbes who might be somewhat receptive)...Apple needs to get a black eye even for thinking of these tactics...
I cant believe they are doing this to you. Isnt this the same thing as SNL? Somebody impersonating someone else?
Oh and who would of thunk new stuff at WWDC, you must of had trade secrets.
I am shocked.
OMG... Apple is braindead.
They think you need a leak to say that a phone with a touch screen would only have one button? Wow.
And you need a source to know Apple is going to release an iPhone SDK? Huh? That's a freakin' given. The big surprise isn't that they are releasing one, the surprise is that it's wasn't available around the time the iPhone was released!
And the real killer... they think you needed an inside source to know Apple was going to release new hardware at the WWDC? APPLE IS A HARDWARE COMPANY!!! OMG, their lawyers are a bunch of Leoptards.
Hey, you heard it here first: Apple will be releasing a new version of the iPhone at some point in the next fifteen years. OMG, PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!!!
As far as your legal problems, since this is, as it says on the front page, "A Forbes.com Site"... doesn't that mean Forbes would be involved in defending you from stuff like this? Seems that claiming you under their umbrella confers you more than just a paycheck: it should also mean they have your back.
Man, you'd better not be pulling my leg on this. If I got duped on this... well, I'll feel dumb, but I'll be pissed off. Seriously, if this is a joke, it's really lame. (especially after I flamed that other guy saying it wasn't) If this isn't real please say so now.
"OMG, their lawyers are a bunch of Leoptards."
Takes one to know one.
This blog is a satire you morons.
If you believed they put a man on the moon,
man on the moon
If you believe there's nothing up my sleeve,
then nothing is cool
You are seriously my hero today.
Thinking of you FSJ/Dan. I'm seeing Apple in a totally different light now.
All the best
I predicted the MP3 player before Apple released the iPod, wonder why they didn't sue me?
I think we all need confirmation of whether this is real or not. Though, why would you do comedy as yourself and not Steve?
I trust in you.
Dude, feeling nothing but pure solitarity for you. Kinda like when they kill Kenny.
The REAL Steve Jobs has now confirmed to at least two of us via email that this is a joke. FSJ has still not shown any scans of actual letters.
FSJ is playing you for a fool. And I'm personally a bit annoyed by it. To think I was thinking of buying his book.
Hm. It's the same post in which you foresaw that "the entire world is going to end in the year 2012 when the Mayan calendar runs out of days or something."
Gotta say I agree with the lawtards on this one, FSJ. You're obviously getting this from somewhere.
Does he need to wave a big red sign in front of your faces explaining that this has all been fake?
Because it's been implied repeatedly in every single post.
He's already told you none of this is true. Why can't you people read between lines?
The problem is that Dan has stepped out of character before. Usually he announces this though. He did not here, which had my bullshit meter going into the red. Coupled with the fact that I'd expect to get take-down any day of the week and hour of day, but this kind of action is M-F stuff. Not Sat before Xmas.
Nonetheless, I was feeling really annoyed over this because a) I enjoy this blog, like, a fucking lot and b) it appear(s)/(ed) to be another Apple action that just fills me with dismay.
I am now pretty sure it is not true, and if this is correct I have to confess to not getting the joke, the point or whatever it was he was trying to do.
Making fans of this blog feel bad, sad, angry, etc by inventing a plausible scenario is actually not cool, Dan.
When you try this War of the Worlds meets Gonzo parody crap again, rereading Spencer Katt a few more times. Oh yeah, have you heard of him? Thought so.
This blog is truth and lies all in one big mesh, it's not that simple, FSJ doesn't use big banners saying TRUTH, LIES, because frankly, ruins the satire.
And ruins my brain, but all will be clear soon, I hope.
Dan, you are brilliant and hilarious. Keep it up!
PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC PANIC
Here's why I didn't think it was fake. Up until this point, he has never attempted to fool his audience. This is not yet another instance in a long pattern. Fake Steve has always been obviously fake, as you can tell from his choice of Blogger subdomain. He has never posted as himself unless somewhat seriously.
There has been no indication up to this point that he was actually lying to us readers about anything, and I think it's distasteful to make fools of your own fans.
RDL -
Thanks for the great times with the blog. If you're truly dealing with Apple (and I still think you are), I hope it goes smoothly - and you're able to work out a deal for yourself in the end. If this is a play, as some people are suspecting, I wouldn't feel played, and would in fact have enjoyed the twist.
Either way, hope you have a great Christmas with family.
"I think it's distasteful to make fools of your own fans."
No one was "made a fool", you were just outmaneuvered. It's not a big deal, and certainly not a big enough deal to decide to not buy a book over.
Hah, and a bunch of us already launched a grassroots protest to S. Jobs himself.
You know what? Don't take the deal just to screw with them.
Now I'm gonna have to apologize to all of Apple's PR and everyone.
But at least it wasn't a joke on your part. Someone owes me one.
(Y)our society makes these things possible.
NOBODY should complain, but the opposite acts as the perfect paradox.
From a more objective point of view, Fake Steve will probably lose more than Apple will, it seems obvious.
By the way, it's fun if it's true.
Outmaneuvered? He riled us up to defend him against a plausible threat. Something similar just happened to Think Secret. Certainly, he fooled me, but I don't think there was enough reason to believe he'd lie to us.
I was ready to do what I could to defend his blog only to find out this was all a joke.
Love you FSJ! Don't let Apple screw up your holiday. We're here for you....
Hey, you're back to moderating the comments! You're getting some color back!
Ok, ok, will you at least once and for all officially say whether all that was true or were you just making up a story arc that got out of hand?
I believed you, I just have an apology with maxliving on the line.
Peace.
- Joel
Way to capture our attention when we're off work for the Christian holidays and would otherwise be surfing porn sites!
If anyone is going to come after you, it's not Apple. It's the porn site operators who are losing all that holiday weekend business...
Said there would be new hardware at the WWDC? That's like saying the real Steve Jobs is going to reveal something during his keynote in January. Big news there.
So there you have it. I won't reveal my sources, but according to them, Steve will reveal something during his keynote. It's sure to be a crowd pleaser.
The iPhone having only one button? Hey, that's pretty revolutionary. I would say it was a shot in the dark that you got right. Who would actually think there would be a phone with only one button. Come on, there are 10 numbers, so there have to be at least 10 buttons. 1-button talk is crazy!
And the SDK. People were crying for one. People were unlocking phones so they could do things to them. The people wanted one. FSJ said they would get one. Fake pacification of the people, because I think we all know FSJ is NOT RSJ.
Wait, I just learned something. While I shell out money to have a damn worthless .mac email account, RSJ uses an "apple.com" email account? Can't they all use .mac?
ugh, I hear gmail is good.
Given that RSJ has said that he thinks it is a joke, there are two possibilities:
a) it is (and not a particularly good one)
b) some lawyer is going to be looking for new work soon
Is this for real? I'm still not sure if this is all a joke.
Morons. Seriously. IT'S A JOKE. THIS ENTIRE BLOG IS A JOKE.
I think you should have to take a test or something in order to read this blog.
DL told some great stories on his book tour about how people didn't seem to be able to differentiate satire from reality. This one takes the cake. If you've been reading this blog for more than a week you should have been able to get the joke and laugh along with it. The comments are almost as funny as Dan the Man himself.
Namaste fools.
Hah, I think RSJ had the "I think this is a joke and you were fooled" on his copy/paste.
You might want to apologize to him if anyone if this was a joke.
"Given that RSJ has said that he thinks it is a joke, there are two possibilities:
a) it is (and not a particularly good one)"
Do you have a better joke?
Man, if they're offering you a shutdown deal, just do it.
I've worked fairly close to the top of the big Silicon Valley companies (including Larry's) for years and I know the HQ PR and Legal teams can work themselves into the sort of blood-frenzy that makes White Pointers seem like household pets.
At least you know what "remedy" they want. They probably couldn't be bothered to go after you personally if you just give them what they want.
Forget whose wrong or right. You've given us all some great entertainment.
We can all see that these Apple people seem to be humourless, Steve-pleasers who don't realise even they will only last about 30 months in their own jobs (I think that's about the average for direct reports in PR and Legal). But it doesn't matter. They're in blood-lust mode at the moment.
Just make sure the deal indemnifies you from any legal action relating to your blog, flip the "off switch" and delete everything, walk away, and enjoy all the other great things in your life.
The blog is fun, but it's not worth throwing everything away for.
"I've worked fairly close to the top of the big Silicon Valley companies"
Bobbyk nailed it - a test should be required to read this blog.
The iPhone actually has 4 buttons and a switch...
good luck.
If all this is real, then good for you at making a few demands. It still seems that they don't want the cash offer to be out in the open like this.
And in this technological age, they want you in person, in Cupertino? Not to be an idiot, but a phone and that video iChat feature (my mac doesn't have a camera) wouldn't work for them? It's intimidation. They want to make you that offer on their turf.
I've got the perfect place for you to do it. You're in Boston, right? Or at least the Boston area. They would probably fly in to Logan. So meet at the Collonade.
Have a nice holiday.
FSJ, I know you've been a naughty boy this year. Trust me, I get the big bucks to know these things. You have your guy Moshe..well, I have my sources, too. And I'm getting ready to make my trip Monday night. You want me to bring you a new Zune? Or some custom-blend peyote?
I laughed I cried... good times
Actually, now that you're not scared of Rambo Lawyer, will you blur out his name and post the PDFs just to prove it was real?
PS- dot mac accounts ARE worthless. Ever try to access one on the web? Got fifteeen minutes for it to load?
"Actually, now that you're not scared of Rambo Lawyer, will you blur out his name and post the PDFs just to prove it was real?"
I still maintain that spyderboyy can't actually be a real person. Buddy, the whole thing was a joke. The WHOLE thing.
Dude, I'm so glad to hear that things are swinging your way. Apple is a great company, but if they want to preserve there image, they need to start playing "nice". I have spent or encouraged others to spend thousands of dollars on Apple merchandise, let me have my FSJ blog!
Haha, best fake story here yet. :-)
Good job, FSJ ;-)
If it was a complete joke, he sure alienated a lot of us b/c of it.
This has got to be a joke! Apple is complaining about the facetious nature of Dan's posts. Give the guy a break. Insider info, BS...
Take it with a grain of salt Apple. Stop acting like a bunch of whiny cowards and call your lawyers off. You're about to ruin a great reputation and you will have nobody to blame aside from yourselves...
Signed: Disgusted
Why don't you turn around and find a smaller guy to crap on? I mean like find a blogger that said something about FSJ and sue his ass off. You can even like use the same letter you got, just change the names.
This way you feel good either way. If you loose, you win this other case. If you win, you win. ;)
Pick me! Pick me!!
Fake Steve Jobs,
I honor the place where satire and legal advice become one.
Peace out.
I have a suggestion for those who thought this might be real and then complained they'd been made a fool of, and were then ragged on for not recognizing the satire. You should claim you didn't *really* think this was for real (duh), and you were just satirizing people who did, and the people who ragged on you are the ones who are too dense to recognize satire.
That's what I would do.
On the other hand, if you do that and this turns out to *be* real, you're going to feel really dumb.
Merry Christmas from me, Hooters Girl. Head down to your local Hooters and say U know me and recieve a jug of Miller, free, with the purchase of our insanely hot Buffalo Wings.
It was a fun afternoon, thanks so much for the entertainment. I was leaning toward satire, and this post, I think, proves it is a joke. I also think RDL posted this because there were too many readers who were too willing to suspend disbelief.
Does anyone here really believe Daniel Lyons goes on trips to the Amazon rain forest with Sting?
That said, I'm torn about whether this was a brilliant Andy Kaufman-esque move, or an ill-advised abuse of our trust. It's a fine line.
I thought this was a joke, but I've _met_ one of Apple's lawyers, and that picture's awfully close.
Could be Photoshopped, though.
It really seems serious, I thought you just wanted to leave while the going was good.
best wishes and merry christmas
Trade secrets? That's what they claim is actionable?
News flash. Trade secrets are things that are kept secret. That's it. There's nothing they can do legally once a trade secret is out, unless you first signed a contract with them saying you'd keep the secret (which I doubt you did). Then all they'd have is breach of contract.
But trade secrets, in and of themselves, give them zero ability to do anything.
Not that the idiot that wrote you the pdf would know that, as he was just doing typical lawyer peacock feather fluffing because most people don't know enough to know any different and "fear lawyers".
But for trade secrets, they have no legs to stand on.
Man, don't relax.
I'm typing this on a tricked-out Macbook Pro. There are two iMacs in the office, one of them the top of the line. They are great computers. But I'll regret buying them if your blog is shut down.
Your lawyer thinks this and that, but these guys can obviously make life hell for you. And they won't just go away now. You have to get through to RSJ. The hacks are bottom-kissers, but there's a small chance they might be called off.
Children's college funds? Bastards. These people have names and college funds for their kids, right? And, man, I've a feeling at some they might leak out.
Bastards.
I've been a steadfast Apple fan for a few years.. ever since I ditched my then-PC for a Gen A Power Mac G5. If Apple continues with this kind of bullshit I think I'll be giving them the finger and moving on to Linux. The MBP I'm typing this on will go straight into the fscking trash.
Wise up, Apple. Seriously. We talk about you because we like you so much. This is the kind of stuff you do if you want to truly piss off your base.
Wow. FSJ is brilliant. This is hipster irony taken to nosebleed level. He has officially coined the term "Faketards".
Just goes to show - you don't have to be smart to read smart.
It is beyond awesome that RSJ is responding to emails about FSJ, and that FSJ has hoodwinked you.
FSJ - that eff question in the Q&A was over the top.
I wonder if DL is disappointed that the vast majority of his readers are so gullible. Also, I laugh at the people who are pissed off at DL for "misleading" them and "betraying their trust." Ha. Ha.
And to spyderboyy, thank you. To all of you who believed FSJ (and the real knuckleheads who continue to), I have just this to say: http://www.thenewyorkerstore.com/assets/1/45481_m.gif
You know... I really don't like PCs, and I love my Mac but right now I feel a little dirty and ashamed to be typing on this keyboard. I thought Apple might have had a soul, or at least a sense of humor even. I just don't know anymore... I'd boycott Apple but the alternative is just painful. I'll stop buying from the iTunes store then... back to CDs.
Oh fuck, I just found out its fake... Goddamnit.
Great. Meet 'em, pull up a seat, take a deep breath and place the digital audio recorder on the table in front of you.
Press the Record button and inform the other party that they may now begin to detail their proposal.
Yep, your lawyer is worth every penny.
I'm just glad you and your family can enjoy your Christmas.
(what news of your contract?... speak any to them?)
"I wonder if DL is disappointed that the vast majority of his readers are so gullible."
I bet he is. It's astounding how comments keep rolling in from people who can't seem to grasp that this blog is satire. Before today I never would have thought that most of FSJ's readership wouldn't "get" something like this right off the bat.
The fact that people have to be told that THIS post is satirical, when it clearly was designed to confirm that the whole thing was a joke, is just bewildering.
There are a lot of suckers on the interwebs.
Of course he knows his readers are gullible. How else could he have gotten away with supporting SCO for so long, bagging linux, and the rest of the crap he posts at Forbes.
Daniel Lyons is a shill and a douche.
Got an email back from RSJ/some-guy-checking-sjobs@apple.com
Output below. Daniel - damn, you got me!
Email + reply:
I think this is a joke.
Steve
On Dec 22, 2007, at 4:40 PM, *me* wrote:
Hi Steve, or whoever at Apple,
at the off-chance that the recent Fake Steve Jobs posts aren't a joke but for real - for god's sake, grow a PR brain! FSJ is a staple in the mac community for better or worse, and the mac community is what makes Apple unlike any other company. Don't take it down!
Regards,
*me*
Everyone would love to get paid good money to stop working. Normally only ex-politicans get this opportunity. This plus the recent rumors about the take-down of ThinkSecret means FSJ has a very receptive and well prepared audience for his recent posts. Don't be too hard on them, even Apple users are only human (with one very notable exception of course).
They are doing a lot of damage to Apple. If what FSJ is claiming is made up then it is libel and Apple should sue them for real.
classic.
to joel, who said "he has never attempted to fool his audience"...
you're kidding right?
I think all of this proves DL's opinion about journalistic blogging in general, you people eat shit up without any kind of fact checking whatsoever.
sad.
82 frikin comments what more can i add but dood go w/your heart.
I call fake until I see the PDF letters...
But this would be a good way to end the blog.
Anybody who knows a Mac has a one-button mouse, and has any sense of comedy, could come up with a one-button phone.
Hey, I predicted the need for an Apple iPhone back in a German magazine article in June 2005 to protect their iPod franchise. Never received an email from them though...
APPLE RULES!!!!! I love how they take control of when and how their products are released! They will be studied for decades for their marketing prowess and media control.
Since you're wrapping the presents..can you send me a fake iPhone? Better yet, a real one. And three years credit for those pesky monthly bills. FedEx on Monday morning to my address (which you have;) I'll open it Tuesday morning.
Peace out.
I must say, I predict a 32gb Flash version of the touch next. Watch them come sue me for "trade secret" publishing.
They can go eat their own round apple asses.
Merry Christmas FSJ!
12/22/07 is basically going to go down in FSJ history as the day of the Rise Of The Commentards.
...and the assault on Real Apple.
IANAL but ... Be very careful about accepting cash for shutdown because if you accept the cash then they can sue you for profiting on their information, as you PROFITED by accepting CASH.
Just to let you know, this same trick was played against the kid who has the similar name to Microsoft. Mike Rowe Soft. Microsoft's legal ninjas offered the kid CASH for his website, and he placed a value on it, then they could force him to shut down a lot easier because you aren't supposed to put a valuation on a domain name or some crap.
Whatever, Apple scares me. Just watch your back dude.
Funny stuff - keep it up Dan. Love it.
I still can't believe people are taking it seriously. Wow.
You better watch out with those trade secrets; it's illegal to distribute those... oh wait that's not true? What do you know, the Constitution is still valid in the United States on occasion.
BTW, if they know how much money is in your children's college fund then someone broke the law in giving it out and/or lying to get that information.
Put those litigious fucks in their place.
Congratulations on handing out some ownage.
Fuckwits who bring in the lawyers are always making things out to be worse than they seem. Always. Without fail.
If this morning someone had said "their proof is probably bullshit, the lawyer is probably unhinged and not acting strictly to orders and you can safely fuck with them in return and still get a good night's sleep" you probably would have been dubious. But that's the way it worked out, and that's the way it always works out.
Smart people don't stay stupid, libelous things. Trust in your own good instincts. You're probably in very safe territory.
You all need to read FSj previous posts about the thinksecret guy and the EFF. he's punking them not you. your too dumb to be bothered with.
Yeah, it's gotta be fake. I think dude above me is right, he was trying to make a joke about the EFF but it went horribly wrong.
...I guess that is kinda funny.
If this is fake, it wasn't a very funny joke. The blog has always been pretty obvious that it was a joke, and stating someone is suing you when they are not is just wrong. There wasn't even subtle humor in these postings and I'll tell you why.
10 years ago, I was threatened with several cease and desists that I ignored and ended up with a law suit from an accessories distributor. I work with a product whose aftermarket parts are actually pretty common, but the specs were not known. This accessory dealer was charging 10 - 20 X the price that anyone could walk off the street and buy these parts *IF* they knew what they were looking for. No websites existed for this product at the time, so a friend and I started a users group. As part of this group, we actually contacted some of the companies that made these parts to get the specs. Again, standard off the shelf parts...what we didn't know were voltages, bit rate blah blah blah. One company decided to work with us because they thought it would be good business to sell to a new market -- they flew us and our equipment in and a day later had everything spec'd out.
We posted the specs and the part numbers and our usergroup was happy, and so was this manufacturer. And so were we until we got sued over it.
Eventually, the suit went away and I made a 'bit' of money on this, but I still can't talk about the specifics (I was 'allowed' to keep the specs on my site, but the manufacturer stopped selling to my group after that...luckily, knowing the specs meant that we could quickly find equivalent parts elsewhere).
You see, this is way too close to the truth of how businesses operate today. If someone has more money than you do, they can afford to bankrupt you simply by filing bad faith suits. The court system saw what we did and threw it out and ordered the plaintifs to come up with a reasonable settlement even though we never filed a counterclaim. They don't do this often...we got lucky.
This happens so much that if it sounds even slightly reasonable, it probably is.
If this is a hoax, consider me a former reader. I have the book on order from Amazon as of this afternoon, but I put in a cancel on the order after hearing a few others tell me personally that they got word from the real SJ saying it was a hoax. If it turns out to be true, I'll buy several to support your cause. Right now, I'm a little pissed and deceived and not sure what side to be upset with.
Either way, I hope your lawyer is worth his salt because I can guarantee his services are going to be needed one way or another.
Bloggers are on this site out of thought and admiration of "Real" Steve Jobs...
Out of facination of Apple, and RSJ...
How Loyal will they be if you turn Apple and RSJ against the Blog Itself(In perfect satire)??
An absolute Brilliant test of Loyolty, and motives using pure fiction and SATIRE, along with a bit of psychology.
Most are defending the communication medium(the Blog) and belonging to death, and disposing of Apple, and RSJ?
An absolute brilliant test, and the results are facinating. Seems that Group Belonging/Collaboration run stronger than admiration and Esteem for "real" Steve Jobs or Apple itself.
So devious and elaborate, JUST LIKE Dr. Evil. Love it! Many fell into this like a well set TRAP! The Genius FSJ, you are a genius, cunning like a fox!
Hats off to your MASTER PLAN! Merry Christmas FSJ, and Mr. RSJ!
I love you. Working a night shift in downtown L.A. and wandering into Slashdot.
i read this blog before and nearly fell out of my chair multiple times. But this time I physically did lose my seat.
To hell with those corporate suitcase monkey lawyers from Apple. Give 'em hell.
Apple has had a long and wonderful history suing the SHIT out of anyone they could terrify into submitting. Fight the good fight, sir, and I have no doubts you will be victorious! I *love* your site, but if they offer enough cold, hard cash, you could, in turn, become the Fake Bill Gates or something else as entertaining as this. In whatever form you take next (if any), I will, again, be one of the faithful. Merry Christmas and as my grandmother used to say, "don't let the bastards grind you down!" :-D
RE: DIOGENES
------------------------
That is, indeed, the email address for the real Steve Jobs (I have corresponded with him in the past). You did nothing wrong by defending the FSJ - Apple's legal department operates, I swear, on a completely different plane of existence from the rest of the company and I cannot say that Steve himself would, honestly, give a shit about a satirical site OR for that matter even KNOW what the HELL the legal department is up to (this time). Can you imagine how much busier he'd be if they called him EVERY time they sued someone? Egads! He'd never get off the phone! ;-)
Dan, I think you're going to have to actually issue some kind of itemized statement + a cutesy diagram or chart or something to fully explain to the seemingly endless mass of commentards that this was a joke.
My brain is basically splitting open just trying to comprehend how so many people can't seem to get that this is satire. It's tragic.
Legal bullshit is beautiful. I cheer for your, fake Steve.
FSJ in his own words giving his defense beginning at 7:15-7:45
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rLpxX9vqr5c
Nice save! Taking rest of weekend off from blog. Got my own solstice celebrations going on. Read you on Monday. Namaste.
This is a very sad day for me. My friend Jack, who was the biggest fan of Apple I'd ever met, called me today extremely distraught. He told me about what Apple was doing to this blog author. He kept saying over and over stuff like "I can't believe they'd do this something like this ..." and "I don't think I can take it ..." and other stuff. I told him he needed to chill and I told him I'd stop by with some beer after Christmas shopping. When I got to his place it was obvious something was very wrong. I was finally able to convince his landlord something was wrong and when he unlocked the door to my friend's apartment, the place was totally trashed and his Mac Pro was destroyed. Apparently this entire episode sent him over the edge, he took a baseball bat to his equipment, then killed himself.
Yup, you made slashdot:
http://rss.slashdot.org/~r/Slashdot/slashdot/~3/204926838/article.pl
LOL! Well done FSJ -- you had me going there for a good 15 mins.
Steve, I am so pissed off with Steve trying to shut you down that I created a new group on Facebook
"Save Fake Steve Jobs. Stand up for the little guys!" I need members now. Don't worry Stevie we'll save you from Steve!
Are you sure these aren't fake lawyers?
Steve,
Don't give up. Stick it to the big man.
We support ya!
Best,
AnlamK
FSJ - This is fantastic stuff!
I honour the place where your satirical genius meets my sense of humour!
I just ordered Options from Amazon on the back of this little masterpiece.
FSJ, you realize you've invented a new form of satire? It's like "meta-satire". Your a genius.
Trying to win Inter-Gender Wrestling Championship, huh?
Dude.
Can't believe they'd do stuff like this. Set up a defense fund. I'd be happy to contribute to help stop this bullying and harassment. *I'm* offended and it's not even happening to me!
-Brad
Holy crap, the amount of people falling for this is just mind boggling.
What's even better is those who "threaten" to leave this blog if it turns out to be true. All I gotta say is: Mission accomplished, if you're stupid enough to believe it (which can happen, no doubt) but then aren't able to cope with it, you're really not worth reading this blog.
Hurray for the cleansing process
Dear FSJ : what are you going to do with all those customers feedback ? Open a new section on Forbes.com ?
ps : very nice trick, BTW. Did Guy Kawasaki coach you on that one ? ;-)
You seem to be dealing with vermin. Chin up, fake Steve. Merry Christmas :)
This is the funniest thing since the office. Like Apple actually gives a shit. This blog is satire people. And good stuff at that. I presume the current threads are a parody of the think secret thing. Keep it up FSJ...
Fly out? Think "jurisdiction".
Perhaps in light of the newly found success of the mac that has obviously attracted to this blog a sizable amount of clueless cretins who can't spell (nor recognize they've been played), apple should change the tag line of its "Think Different" campaign into something like, mmm, let's see, "Think".
Yep, "Think" is good. Hopeless, though...
Merry Xmas to all anyway!
Keeping on playing hard-ball with Apple. They will either pay you or a "fortune" or give up - lawyers hate publicity...... Happy Christmas.
I want to do Kim KardashianGlobal
i just want to get this off my chest..... I want a twosome with Jodie Marsh and Ivana trump...
One piece of advise mate..backup your blog or better export it to wordpress ASAP..
You never know how much of buddies Google (blogger) and Apple are..
FSJ, I really enjoy reading the way your mind works every day. A chart of the site's traffic over 2007 is one gigantic middle finger. I suppose I could read into this episode and conclude it is a hopeless attempt to stay relevant, get press, blah blah. The only problem is: it isn't all that funny. That's the problem. And that's the only problem. I'm gonna say what's probably on your mind and a lot of other people's mind: You just jumped the shark. You sharted.
This is all FAKE
I think your blog is great, very insightful (oups, hope I don't play Apples cause with this word) und funny.
If this whole shutdown-thing is as fake as the whole project, you definitely took your blog to the next, you can call it art and put yourself in line with Orson Wells.
If it is real, the most probable thing should be that some lawyer gone wild lately will soon be looking for a new job.
The other possibility, that this is the new official, sanctioned policy of Apple and Steve Jobs seems too awful to be true. What should we do? Not buy their amazing products anymore?
Anyway, you should put the pdfs on your blog to make it clear that this is in fact happening and if everything turns out to be real, I'll renounce on my next iPod and send you the money to cover your legal fees...
Of course this could be a joke. But other than Dan Lyons giggling, who is having fun?
Those who think 'the whole blog is a satire' don't read it enough to decrypt the 'it's really me' material from the 'I invented X, frigtards, bokay?' material.
If Lyons is now blending the two, it's clear he's got bored with his own work. Andy Kauffman seems about right, as an analogy.
Anyway, who is to say sjobs@apple is anyone? Even Steve jobs is checking thousands of emails the day before Christmas eve - hello? - is it not likely he will say anything to deflect attention from himself?
Dude,
As I posted in my very own fake blog, you can count on the fake bloggers community. We support you.
http://fakescott.blogspot.com/2007/12/solidarity-with-jobs-fake.html
I'm sure they won't close you, but if you need a place to write, you have my blog (Ed Zander's fake personality is still free ;-) ).
Good luck and Merry Christmas!
Still. Can't. Believe. People. Think. This. Is. True.
If this is just a big joke, it's not very funny. Disappointing.
But, even with RSJ's comments, it's possible there is some truth to it. I was once doing a consulting gig where the corporate lawyers decided they needed to have me sign some truly ridiculous documents. I can't provide details but, essentially, the potential financial loss of signing the documents was easily 10x what the gig was worth. I consulted a lawyer and he told me I couldn't even sign something acknowledging receipt of the document. Plus, they wanted me to agree not to work for *any* computer industry company for a year afterwards -- like what, I'm supposed to go on food stamps?!
So, when they wouldn't back down, I quit. Suddenly, the VP wants to talk to me (I hadn't even met him before) and it turns out that he had no idea what was going on. The lawyers hadn't even consulted him. I told him it was too late and suggested that he might want to get new lawyers.
So, who knows what's going on at Apple that RSJ doesn't know about?
There's no truth to any of this.
Admit it so stupid people stop sending Apple hate mail over it.
FSJ, we knew you were planning to stop this blog, but I never imagined you'd achieve such a satirical masterstroke for your final number. awesome, as the commentards say.
best wishes for the future, and if nobody gives me 'Options' for Xmas I'll buy the damn thing myself.
PS: be kind to Apple, blow the gaff later and tell the world you love them - I'm guessing you scare them a bit, and they've been kind to you, they didn't send Moshe round to your place.
Wow, this makes me angry that I purchased the family pack vs using a single license for all our computers. We did it out of loyalty. After reading about this, I doubt we will be doing so again.
Maybe Guy Kawasaki should being back the old Evangelistas seems we need them to protect us users from Apple we once supported.
I've been skimming so I don't know if someone has told you, it's simple to get anyone's info. They subpoena your IP from hosting site, then ISP to get your name / address. Then run a credit check with the three main credit bureaus in the US. Experian, Equifax, and TransUnion have all your financial information. You have the right to 1 free credit from EACH bureau per year.
Federal Trade Commission: Your Access to Free Credit Reports
http://www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/pubs/credit/freereports.shtm
The 3 Credit Bureaus:
http://www.Experian.com/
http://www.Equifax.com
http://www.TransUnion.com/
Trans Union has the slowest website.
(Be careful if you use a search engine and watch your address bar, lots of fake sites/links out there looking to steal your information. Google looks pretty badly poisoned right now. Even their paid links are shady.)
Think the 'fake' in the URL is a bit of a give away.
And to everyone who is complaining: Sorry but it is funny! What makes it so is how willing so many readers are to believe an Orwellian fantasy that Apple is going around offering money to websites to silence them. The Think Secret situation was totally different, as there was an actual leak there, and IAC the payout seems to have been Apple buying the right to publicly save a little face as they were about to be trounced.
Steve-o
As you probably anticipated, I just went through the cycle: disbelief/belief/shock/anger/realisation/relief/grinning from ear to ear/appreciation/childlike sense of wonder/feckin' commentards/more grinning.
Thank you, and have a great holiday.
Have you seen Slashdot, Steve-o?
Absolute feckin' classic. They don't know whether its feckin' New York or New Year!
It is very likely that this is true even with the satire taken into account. Pretending to be a "Fake Dan Lyons" doesn't add up. To my sense of humor anyway.
Working for the "Mothership" and knowing how the company thinks and acts, I can assure you that this is very possible. Unfortunately, I cannot confirm this since I do not have first hand knowledge.
But I can tell you this: There is something called "Apple Need to Know Confidential." When this is envoked even the co-workers you see daily are to be kept out of the loop. This means that even within Apple itself, the left hand only has indirect understanding of what the right hand is doing. This makes it incredibly easy to ;-) and not say anything at all.
And for RSJ, it is impossible to know every single action your staff does when you have nearly 20k people under you. The legal teams are huge! And yes "teams." As in: multiple legal teams for multiple Geo's and Dept.'s etc., etc. People would be shocked to know some of the ridiculous stuff Apple legal has used as "evidence." Haha! But I digress.
It would not surprise me one bit if this were truly happening to FSJ without RSJ knowing anything at first. But then again, the inter-webs are comprised of a series of tubes. One can never truly know.
####### DEAR *(F)STEVE JOBS ####
################################
I KNOW YOU GET A LOT OF COMMENTS
################################
####PLEASE READ THIS ONE########
################################
#####THANKS FOR YOUR TIME#######
################################
*Disclaimer for legal purposes:
THE INFORMATION CONTAINED IN THIS COMMENT HAS BEEN TRANSMITTED DIGITALLY OVER THE INTERNET WITH FULL INTENTIONS OF REACHING AN INDIVIDUAL WHO IS NOT "STEVE JOBS" - CEO OF APPLE, INC. UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD THE MESSAGE BE TAKEN AS A MESSAGE DIRECTED TO STEVE JOBS IN A SLANDERING FASHION INSULT OR ANY OTHER DANGEROUS ASSUMPTION YOU MAY THINK OF. THE MESSAGE HEREIN IS DIRECTED TO A MAN WHO OWNS A BLOG AND PRETENDS HE'S STEVE JOBS WITH FULL INTENTION OF REACHING A SUBSCRIBER BASE AND DOING NOTHING BUT PROMOTING APPLE, INC.'S PRODUCTS.
Dear Steve,
Sshheesh man, what a guy's gotta do to write you a letter these days. Just have to protect myself, you know. I thought I'd write to tell that I started a business doing what I love, designing and developing websites, and also tell you how much you've had to do with that.
My business partner is cool. He bought me a 30" 8 core loaded up, a macpro 17" for when I go to my clients offices, and an iPhone to jam/call/txt/email for when I ride the bus to the potential client! I know, no car, no nothing.
I was gazing at a picture I have of you that is my desktop background. Look, it's you in 1982 Steve! Lookin good when I was -2 yrs old! You were sitting on the floor with your legs crossed. You had nothing.
You have everything now, and it's because you thought different, stuck to your guns, and believed in yourself no matter what anyone said about your ideas.
I look up to you Steve, I do. You're a lucky guy. Lucky no one came around and held you down and make you feel like a worthless person for expressing your ideas and writing them on the internet for the whole world to see read and fantasize about things they love already so much and can't wait for only to be sued... ruined... broke.
I've surrounded myself in your products because they are amazing. And I look up to you so much because you are too. Thanks Steve. I want to be just like you.
Merry Christmas,
Brad
brad@jdhcreative.com
I sure hope this is a joke, or else I'm gonna have to ditch my 3 ipods and buy myself a f...ng zune.
I sure hope this is a joke, or else I'm gonna have to ditch my 3 ipods and buy myself a f...ng zune.
This makes me so angry, I've lost count of the times that I've had 'ideas' or 'predictions' that turn out to be true.
We should sue the damn corporations for stealing them from our minds! :)
Have a Merry Christmas and keep up the good work.
Crash, out...
you know they are scared. There is someone with popularity that threatens their name. You should feel honored...threatened and scared maybe since they are evil people, but honored none the less. What they are doing is low but it is to protect their image. I am no where near close to having the knowledge of a lawyer, but it seems that they have no evidence that you predicted their phone. Everything apple makes is freakin white so anyone could obviously predict that their next new fangled device will be a nice white or black with a heavy sheen to it. Any idiot can do that and second they don't have any evidence that you had inside tips because that requires a second person that works for apple to give you the tips. What they claim they can sue you for doesn't hold water if they can't find evidence that there actually was another person giving you tips.
Second, don't go see them unless they are willing to give you a ton of money, airplane ticket, and complementary tickets for your family (so you can enjoy Christmas with them). Otherwise make them come to you since they are the ones that want to see you. You don't want to see them and shouldn't be burdened with leaving the family over the holiday.
Try and enjoy some of your holiday.
I was going to give myself a MacBook for Christmas. Guess what? I am buying a Dell XPS or Asus instead. Apple's behaviour is so outrageous I do not want to support that company in any way. Please do not surrender to them.
Hey, FSJ, quit stepping out of character. Ruins the whole FSJ vibe. If they really did send you a letter all the more reason to stay IN character. *sigh*
"I was going to give myself a MacBook for Christmas. Guess what? I am buying a Dell XPS or Asus instead. Apple's behaviour is so outrageous I do not want to support that company in any way. Please do not surrender to them."
The problem with that is that by denying your self the best laptop you will end up hurting yourself the most.
In the end it is only about the products. If you let what happends in the blogosphere influence you to much than that makes you very gullible.
If this is a joke, I am going to stop reading your blog!
It's immoral to trick people into believing false things. You're making alot of people angry at Apple by telling them lies.
If this is just a joke, I will stop reading your blog!
Hmm...
"I predict that Apple's stocks will go up at least once in the next year."
Will they sue me for that?
Yes, yes they will. This is America, after all.
Free speech includes the right to bullshit other people about lawsuits.
It appears that there are two schools of thought on the sincerity of this storyline...The following are lyrical excerpts from the same Graham Parker song Don't Ask Me Questions that echo the sentiments of comments to date...
REAL?
I stand up for liberty, but can't liberate
Pent up agony; I see you take first place.
Who does this treachery I shout with bleeding hands
Is it you or is it me?
Well, I never will understand.
------------------------------------
MEMOREX?
I see the thousands screaming
Rushing for the cliffs
Just like lemmings into the sea...
Who waves his mighty hand & breaks the precious rules?
Well, the same one must understand who wasted all these fools...
---------------------------------------
Either way, it's some DAMN entertaining reading!
"Keep your pecker hard and your powder dry and the world will turn."- King (Platoon-1986)
Sorry to post this:
In 1st Q 2008, Apple will announce this nice, polished-titanium iphone with HDMI output and microSD.
The company I work for, is just doing the HDMI compliance testing with a whole lot of TVs, beamers, etc.
You gotta see this, this rocks soo much, 720p in your pocket!
Can' we all just stop harshing the blog for the holidays, people?
In breaking news, King Herod has announced a plan to kill all the baby boys two-years-old and younger.
Seems he, too is afraid of competition.
I'm going to stop telling people I use Apple stuff. It's just getting too embarrassing.
Happy Holidays
Every time you step out of character you make this less enjoyable for me.
First the "voice" is FSJ, then its real Dan really promoting his book, then its Dan being satirical. Its all clever, but its not as funny as maintaining one voice, and it seems very self-promoting to me.
I guess its time to find entertainment elsewhere.
I used to think I was being cynical by thinking the world was filled with idiots. But these last few days have proven it. FSJ, I feel for you. I'm sorry that you've had to face the realization that most of your readers are knuckle-dragging idiots that don't understand humor.
Really...they're e-mailing RSJ! WTF?
i'm calling bullshit on this one. This dude calls himself fake steve jobs, so how far fetched would it be for him to have fake steve stories? shut down the site? they let him publish a book for christs sake, he went on a book tour promoting it, and has attention whored himself for years. Just more self gratification if ya ask me.
I think RSJ needs to invite you to introduce him at MacWorld. Wouldn't that just be perfect?
dude. take the money, ask for a bunch of apple shit and you want to be a beta tester. done! hello! win-win!!
I suggest an Apple boycott until Steve gets control of his attack dogs and starts behaving like the altruist he pretends to be. I certainly won't be buying any more apple kit.
there certainly are a lot of gullibtards here (if that's a word)(which I suppose it is)
Even if that guy up there actually got through to the Steve Jobs... How many of us have worked for big corporations? Where the big directors and CEOs don't read their email, but rather the secretaries do? Or even if they do, they don't actually know every little detail that goes on in their company because, they don't have to know, they have people who know for them.
So, considering all this to me true... I doubt that RSJ said "Hey, [insert legal guys name here], ThinkSecret was great. Now go after FSJ and his stupid blog." There is probably a list of websites that Apple as a company doesn't like, and sure, RSJ would have seen such a list, but I would think that the Apple legal team themselves are more behind this, and wouldn't be suprised if RSJ doesn't know much about this.
FSJ is a genius. It is incredible the amount of attention he brought to him with this fake history.
Time to come clean and admit the joke - this, whilst 'a smart gag' is not exactly 'in context' with the sit and represents a step towards biting the hand that feeds you...unless that's the point?
Effectively your 'ruining' you own online fake persona.
Let it run for too long and the spirit of the site will be permanently damaged and the trust will be gone.
We thought you loved Apple - perhaps not ?
This, one way or another is either
a) Damaging to Apple ( if it were true - which it's not)
Which only leaves ;
b) Damaging to you
Better think 'different' and find a smart way to bring closure - creating deliberate division shows malice and intent to cause damage to reputation - it's near knuckle liable in it's own right.
That said - very clever - please get back to the 'satire'
Geez. You got me.
What makes this bog so great is that _anything_ is believable. Of course Apple helps by making it all plausible.
Happy Holidays!
I would say Apple had stolen your "one button"-idea. Next time you better Patent your ideas before posting them on blog ;)
There are several email addresses that you can "write" the RSJ at.
It is unknown if he actually reads the email, doubtful, considering he probably gets millions a day, however.. Through my masterful google foo.
sjobs@apple.com
steve@apple.com
SORRY FSJ, But if this is a joke you went too far.
So many apple users writing hate-mail to apple because of it and even considering not to buy any products. If this is a joke you should definitely face some consequences once revealed.
How about we just boycott you and this blog?
If it' really a joke i don't think it's funny to come up with this on a saturday in the holidays and right before christmas.
Either way if it's true, post some god-damn evidence and stop causing panic on the blogosphere.
Damn, that sucks! Defend yourself and ask for funds, I'll send some bucks if needed!
I can't believe this! One of those days, we'll wake up with a 1500 pages law book in the ass because those guys will say it's for our own good and law rules it all...
Damn, if I was Steve and was reading this, I would just fire those monkeys.
T
And by the way, don't say Apple is going to make a lot of money this quartal... they might add a forth charge for delit of initiate!
T
What a bunch of whiny morons you are. This blog is meant as a joke. It's... not real. It is made-up.
"If it' really a joke i don't think it's funny to come up with this on a saturday in the holidays and right before christmas."
Ahahahahahahaa... are you kidding me? What a baby. Get a grip.
Katie Cotton - or whoever is at the end of katiec@apple.com - just denied this to me.
I waved a slightly big stick that would make me tend to believe her/them.
I'm slightly pissed off at waving that stick now. This one ain't making you look good FSJ.
c.
I used to work at Apple a decade ago. Even then their legal department was a joke. Business prevention I think they called it. Imagine you're a lawyer and you can't get a job - who you going to visit. Answer: Apple.
We think of Apple as this big company in the image of Steve. In reality the legal department is a bunch of wannabees who are either too junior to know what's right, or too senior to do anything at all. Pfeh... I learned that the best way to deal with the department was to document everything openly and transparently. Which made them more pissed off. But saved my bacon. I was a GM working inside the company. Imagine what it's like outside.
Legal thinks of themselves as the owners of Apple. They are definitely not. They are servants of whomever asks them for help inside Apple. So your trick is to find who that person is (marketing?) and negotiate with them - not the lawyers. Work it...
You're doing the right thing. Make 'em pay for your legal fees as part of the discussion!
I love Apple - I'm typing this on my MacBook Pro. It really, really is a fabulous company. But their legal department sucks. Always has.
Posted anonymously, because I don't want their lawyers to justify their jobs and come after me! ;-)
DO YOU IDIOTS BOTHER READING THE OTHER COMMENTS!!!!??
IT'S FUCKING FAKE! AND FUNNY AS HELL! DON'T GET MAD AT LYONS BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IGNORANT DOUCHEBAG!
AGAIN, READ SOME COMMENTS BEFORE YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK LIKE A DUMBASS.
>> Still. Can't. Believe. People. Think. This. Is. True.
You have to admit using that "one button" thing was brilliant. Especially when you read the whole entry about coming up with it while spooning Sting. :) I'm pretty sure there is anotehr one about 13 buttons, not 12, too (if you count the digital buttons).
This blog has gone haywire since the identity of Fake Steve was revealed. The posts since then have lost the edge they had before. Sad.
I think this story about the letter from apple is totally fake but still funny ;)
keep posting on your blog, great job ;)
i am returning the ipods i bought for gifts, and boycotting apple products until it is clear they aren't acting like the mafia.
also selling my apple stock, cause this isn't russia, and bullying tactics won't work, regardless how good your products may be.
Dear Mr Jobs,
I was considering purchasing either a 15" or 17" Macbook Pro in the new year.
But now I no longer want to:
http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/12/first-carrot-now-stick.html
I wanted the best notebook that money can buy but I don't want it badly enough to support this kind of behavior from my industry. Instead I will settle for the second best notebook in the industry.
merry christmas and a happy new year to you and your loved ones.
antoine
What's really funny about this is reading the clueless comments on Slashdot. About every hundredth is "It's a joke!" followed by 99 messages of "Aple dsrvs to fall. Im byin a Z*n"
What can you expect from a bunch of guys who thought that "The Beat Goes on" invite was about the Beatles coming to iTunes (apparently unaware that "The Beat Goes On" was written by the late Congressman Sonny Bono [R, Calif])
Perhaps you could do a Fake Commander Taco blog? That would be fun...
what a load of idiots.
just like the mellow apple vibe has been harshed by the adoption of apple products by the unwashed masses, the bitter tears of those hoodwinked by the fake offer from fake apple to buy out fake steve has harshed the humor vibe of this blog.
"i'm not gonna buy your book because you pretended that you were taking your toys and going home... wahhhhh!!!!"
it's like this blog forced the shark to jump it
too fucking weird.
What fuckwittery is this? These guys need a real job if this is the best they can come up with.
Merry Holidays and Happy Xmas to you and yours!
WTB a non-hypocritical reader base, PST!
Seriously guys, at first you all accuse Apple of being humorless dickheads for taking themselves too seriously, and now, you're all bitching out FSJ for pulling a fast one on you, claiming that you'll be "really pissed" if this turns out to be true. I hate whiny little girls who laugh nasally when the satire is pointed at someone outside their clique. God forbid the joke should ever be on them and send them crying, faces held in hands, to their mommies.
gotta admit - with a large Xmas gin and tonic in hand - it's truly surreal how exercised people - including myself - seem to have got over this...
Three sips down and I'm beginning to find it all mighty funny...
Have a cool yule y'all...
Hello,
i've read from your blog at http://www.heise.de/newsticker/meldung/101032 so i visited your site. I can't believe that you had no internal "Datasource" trom the "Apple Land". But when it is so then its Ok. I think that you don't lie.
I wish a blessed Christmas time.
Bye
Marcus Radisch
mmmm wonder if they did any pre-texting ? they seem to have some interesting personal info.. they are charging that you are letting out trade secrets. DOJ loves big companies in the valley that pre-text journalists.I mean hey why not re-open the backdating and take bigger bite of the apple and see what's in the core......
"Anonymous appleboycott said...
i am returning the ipods i bought for gifts, and boycotting apple products until it is clear they aren't acting like the mafia.
also selling my apple s..."
Good. More great Apple products for us. If you are "dumb" enough to join a factless "Witch Hunt", or medevil "beheading" I can see many haven't evolved since the Dark Ages and shouldn't be computing, use paper, give us your Apple products.
It is truly amazing how ignorant "the masses are" to jump in on witch hunts, finger pointing, and quick beheadings.
FAKE STEVE IS FAKE, WRITING STORIES FOR ENTERTAINMENT.
Real STEVE JOBS inspires and creates a GREAT COMPUTING EXPERIENCE with APPLE, Inc!
In writing this on my "Apple" computers, they have fullfilled their PROMISE!
FSJ is not a concern for RSJ, only the witch hunting, ignorant, clueless masses that don't get a saga or skit written for entertainment!
Someone points a finger at Apple from a Fake site, and everyone Charges without thought?
I feel pity for Apple and RSJ having to deal with cave people with no sense of humor. Point the finger back at yourself for being a bid "NAIVE".
Watch out for Santa and Jack Frost this weekend, they are "real" too.
As is the Tooth fairy, and Easter Bunny. Wonder if he visits Ohio?
(From the Midwest/Great Lakes)
I wrote the comment about family pack vs single and credit bureaus. Now, I feel stipud* (yes I mean stipud, not stupid. That too though.) Now should I send an apology to Apple. XD
I was just skimming some of the entries, so a lot of people could easy think this was real. Especially after the Think Secret deal. Which was the point I guess.
Hey you might ACTUALLY get sued, that would sorta funny. I think Apple ought to send you a letter of intent to belittle you and call you names behind your back.
*stipud - The act of saying / writing something stupid because one didn't read / listen as much as ought to have.
I knew it was a joke from the beginning. It's nice to see MOST of you commentards are finally catching on. Took you long enough.
I just saw this on the web. (link below)
It looks like they took it to the next level unfortunately for you.
I think they are trying to give you a taste of your own medicine. I can't believe they would come to that but apparently you've upset them.
http://fakefakestevejobs.blogspot.com/
Save FSJ
Just be sure your lawyer stays the hell out of court. I have seen more people get fucked by those cocksuckers because they want to litigate over nuances. Fuck that noise - let your attorney know you want him to go for blood, and not yours.
And so what inside information did you have that other pundits like Dvorak, etc. didn't have. I heard predictions all fuckin' year long about Apple's bullshit technology.
You should keep posting what a cocksucker Mr. "Egalitarian-I-want-technology-for-the-masses-but -you-must-pay-me-my-monopoly-money" is. He has to lawyer up over your fuckin' blog of conjecture - what a dipshit. You should start a blog "TheRealSteveJobsIsACocksucker". Oh, don't forget - it's in your opinion so you can't be sued for defamation.
Yes, it's a joke. But to those of you who are annoyed with Fake Steve because you've been duped, you should understand that it's not simply a joke for its own sake. It is, like the rest of the site, SATIRE. Specifically, it's satire of the ThinkSecret case, and in order for it to be effective satire in this particular case, he had to step out of the Fake Steve character and pretend to be speaking as himself. Reread the latest post -- he makes his point about the troubling implications of the ThinkSecret case more effectively, it seems to me, than he could have any other way. So, like the best satire, it's both a funny joke and a serious commentary. If he fooled some of us for a while, so what -- we should be able to laugh at ourselves as well.
Way to keep people reading through Christmas. :)
WTF? They didn't ding you the iBook post?
Shit, does that mean ... sniff! ... NO iBook ebook reader?!!?
You bastard!
http://fakefakestevejobs.blogspot.com/
Faked the faker who fu... uh I mean faked around with his audience. Now that's just funny.
Are you freaking kidding me?! half a million dollars for making the most obvious boneheaded predictions on a blog?! OMG, that settles it I am starting a blog about Apple. How in the hell could I not have guessed the iphone would have one button? Who could not have guessed Apple would release an SDK for the iphone under such enormous public pressure? If you had posted a blog saying that they would release a phone without and SDK and try to sell web based development as the only method to deploy software over a total shit network like ATT's now that would have required insider information because it's totally stupid in every since of the word stupid. Announcing hardware... and an apple event... words fail me. I have insider information Apple, you are going to release a multi-touch tablet style computer at your next event. PAY ME! PAY ME! I will shut my mouth!
So, they're not really after you- they're just plugging leaks. Sadly, it was never really about you, FSJ- just a bunch of lawtards that was probably told, "Find every web site that discloses product information and shut it down." Those letters were probably form letters they sent to 500 different bloggers. Another sad fact- they probably don't even have a clue about you or the site.
Losers.
Crank it up, FSJ.
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