So it's a complicated situation but I want to keep everyone in the loop. Bottom line is I've received an overture from the Mothership with a mention of a Think Secret type settlement if I'll stop impersonating Dear Leader on the Web. Nothing nailed down at this point but frankly, honestly, I'm tempted to just take it. I've had a wonderful time doing this blog and have made some great new friends and I'd miss doing it. Also, in my case there are other parties involved, most notably my sponsor, with whom I have a contract to keep doing the blog. That's why I say it's a complicated situation. Discussions will continue and I probably won't be able to disclose what we're talking about. Until things get worked out I'll be posting sporadically at best. To all of you who celebrate Christmas I wish you a happy holiday. To everyone else, enjoy the time off. Spend time with your loved ones. Turn off your computer. Remember what's important. Little hint: It ain't this. Peace out to all, and to all a good night.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I'm weighing an offer from Apple
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
75 comments:
I'm going to assume this is real.
As bummed out as I would be to see you go, FSJ, I suppose there was no way this could go on forever. I mean, it would either get old eventually (note: it's not old yet, you still rule) or you would inadvertently say something that really pissed someone off and have to deal with a lawsuit.
Even though I'm definitely not one of the people who has been here "since the beginning" (I found out about this blog when you got ousted), I want you to know I consider this one of the only blogs on the internet worth reading. It was an awesome idea, and you had me in tears several times.
Tell you what: at least stay with us until Macworld. Degrade your enemies as Apple introduces awesome new products.
Namaste.
I double their offer if you stay. How much did they offer?
If you take this blog away from me then I will be forced to start a Fake Dan Lyons blog...
Have a nice holiday FSJ.
No, don't leave us FSJ!! We promise we will buy 'Options'. This blog is a much needed breath of fresh air in not just all-things-Mac but also the wider computer, software, virtual and meat space. Reading Fortune.com just wouldn't make up for it. Have a relaxing Cmas holiday and come back re-charged to fight the Borg, RSJ, Leisure Suite Larry and everyone else. Peace!
Has Apple lost their sense of humor completely? Come on! RSJ needs to relax a little. You don't go around spreading "apple's precious little secrets" so what's the deal here? They want to take down all the macweb?
Say it ain't so FSJ!!
Phucking sellout! You better throw an open bar party for readers and do it on the damn east coast. I'll even come up from Phriggin Philly
But ... how will you plug your book?
Could you possibly do the blog without impersonating Dear Leader? Some of the funniest things are even Apple related.
But then, I guess it is funny because we imaging Steve doing them.
If they're threatening a lawsuit, then this isn't worth it.
Your blog unimportant? Bullshit.
Say it aint so Joe
jeez!
http://iphone-support.blogspot.com : iPhone Support, iphone tips, iphone tools
This is your funniest post yet!
You're exactly right, we do need to remember what is important. However, the more people that give in to these kinds of "overtures," the more that Apple is going to think that they can require and basically force anyone that they want into obscurity. Do NOT let this happen. Money is the root of all evil.
You will be terribly missed.
I must admit that I am hoping this is one of the FSJ rants and humor that may allow you to stay put and continue with your charades, but I have been wrong before.
In case you are writing at another places, a link post or email would be highly appreciated.
Your writing and news have been a daily does that has been personally praised.
Take care,
Eran
On a Saturday, 3 days before Christmas, and after the masses have ordered your book.
You look like you've really sold out, and have adopted the standard tactics of the corporate weenies you mock.
For me your blog has been the equivalent of The Daily Show on the net. I look forward to daily readings while at work and would have to actually start working a full day for the frigtards. Namaste, brother. I honor the place where your wallet and my sense of loss meet.
Hey Fake,
Don't know if this article's true or "fake true", but a holiday wish here that you do whatever's the best for you. It's been loads of non-fake fun, while I’m sure requiring lots of effort on your part. Everything’s got a life-cycle and only you know when it’s time. As the drunk man said, “wise men at their end know dark is right”, but you‘ve definitely forked your bit of lightning here.
There are those other things you do, too (I know -- I've bought them all on Amazon), and more time for those couldn't hurt. So you, too, shut off the computer, talk to the family and figure it out. Those of us who’ve had fun commenting (whether Celine and Kevorkian, Norman Mailer counter-poems or angry dwarfs) will shed an Anonymous tear and move on.
And even though this blog’s not “what’s [really] important” (what blog is?), it HAS been great fun on many levels, more fun than many of the other cyber-burrows around town.
So YOU enjoy Hanna-Christ-Kwanz-Festivus, too Dan!
It’s been real.
Don't do it!! Damned Appletards. I have a new reading of 'FSJ' to propose...
As a hard-core holdout, I still believe that RSJ is FSJ. So if FSJ goes away....
It's too dreadful to even consider.
frigging frigtards!!
Say it ain't so, Joe!
Who is going to point out the emperors are wearing no clothes?
You see?
I am so distraught with your recent news, that I have previously commented like a a blogtard...we must always re-read our comments for relevance and grammar before posting.
As much as your possible FSJ "retirement" plans are disturbing, I must admit that you are not selling out.
Alexander Zero is completely right by saying that it could not go one forever. Another has hopefully praised this as "your funniest post yet!"...please say it is so.
Hoping for future posts,
Eran
it gets worse: in the middle of the night someone broke into my house and took my copy of Options. Is this happening to others, too?
And not to spin conspiratorial thoughts, but is it possible the disappearance of As The Apple Turns, several years ago, was the first salvo in this war?
If you stop FSJ, then please at least carry on blogging as Real Dan Lyons - your insights and analysis are the best on the web, no questions. And like one of the previous commentators said, you've had me in tears so many times. I'm hoping to have your book in my stocking this year - so at least that will allow me to keep my FSJ fix going for a bit longer :)
Much love.
alexander zero said:
... (I found out about this blog when you got ousted)...
alex, i think you mean outed: he was only ousted yesterday...or in a few days, depending on how things shake out.
Awww Man! I just started reading this 4 days ago! What am I gonna do now?
PLEASE tell me that you are going to be allowed to make a book out of this blog...
Thanks for making me laugh, even if it was only for 4 days. Best wishes FSJ.
It's a joke, you credulous morons.
What a cliff-hanger, FSJ!
You should write fiction...
Tune in next year, Apple faithful - like Arnie, he'll be back...
So I just discovered this site and now you want to be bought out by Apple? How much power are you going to give them?
Would the REAL Steve Jobs be bought out like this?
Shame, shame on you.
I sentence you to a life of using Vista, pre-upcoming service pack one.
Argh.
I have to think you're kidding -- and it's pretty mischievous to write a post like this without a comic tone.
In the meantime, for the fun of it, let's assume you're telling the truth. Now, all of you youngsters thinking of giving a corporation a hard time online... pick Apple! There might be a big payday in it for you.
I'm anticipating a Spartacus effect here... "I'm Steve Jobs!" "No, I'm Steve Jobs!" "Wrong, I'm Steve Jobs!"
maybe it's time for us all to quit Apple...
note to (British) self: Americans can actually do irony.
nice one FSJ
Bummer. I need this blog. Now I have to wade through loads of frigtarded crap to find a new source of daily goodness.
You know, this blog was getting a bit stale, so maybe it's for the best. Be like Seinfeld; go out on a high, not a low.
Is anyone keeping score? Credulous frigtards seem to outnumber the folks with a sense of humor...
I will also assume this is real.
This blog amazes me every time I read it. The writing is so clever, the content so consistently fresh and plentiful, that I can't imagine the person who has the brains and talent to put it together. If Apple finds this writing to be threatening, that's a damn shame, because if anything the FSJ blog promotes Apple. (I'm in tech support and we handle PC's nearly exclusively, but I've learned a great deal about Macs from these postings.)
Do what you need to do, FSJ. I know you'll make the right decision, and you've probably posted more about it here than Apple would appreciate, as I can see from the posting above this one. No matter what happens, I thank you hugely for your humor and wit and perspective on things. You are a great talent in the way Stephen Colbert is, and if you are not doing this blog, I know your greatness will shine in other ways.
Keep us posted and namaste. We'll be seeing you, one way or another.
Jennifer Portnick
Jesus Effin' Christ, Jobso! First the options mess and now this! Why do you wimp out every time the lawyers get involved? Take some of Larry's designer Viagra and man up, bokay?
to paraphrase yet another steve, take the money and run, brother. seriously, dan, you gotta need a fucking break from this madness. your humble dent in the universe will be sorely missed, my friend.
Hmm, why do I feel that this is an FSJ season ending cliff-hanger?
Will he or won't he?
Or is it all just a dream?
Namaste FSJ. I honor the place where your RDF and mine become one.
There is no way this is true..... i am betting that this is a joke. FSJ is here to stay!!
But you're my bestest, dearest, funniest IMAGINARY FRIEND!
Likely story FSJ. I've been reading since five minutes after you clicked "submit" on the first post and I've seen the rise, fall, rise, outing and rise of the blog. I know for a fact you'd miss your audience … the reason you started doing this was as an outlet for those insights churning away inside you that old media could not dare to print. Those won't go away. But without the blog, we will have to.
Just think of a world where My Little Pony is a mere brand of childrens toys, and Freetards, Greentards, Microtards and even simple Frigtards can go about their lunacy unopposed? I shudder at the very idea, yet that was how it was a couple of years ago.
Sure, Apple and Real Steve would still rule and the Mac Web would carry on. Well, those parts not cashed in for iTunes credits. But something would be missing too. A little something to do with delusions of grandeur, valley egos, and satire rare enough to catch many people's eye.
Here's hoping you have a satisfying and Zen filled holiday, at the ashram or however you prefer. Then when Macworld rolls around in January, and Steve scares the pants off the tech world while restoring a sense of childlike wonder to the rest of us, the itch just needs to be scratched.
I honour the place where the real world and Fake Steve's genius become one.
Namaste.
danny-boy/fsj,
all the other commentards/blogtards are gonna tellz ya, "say it ain't so! wah!" and "don't sell out!" and whine, whine, whine, wah, wah, friggin' waaaaaaaa ...!! someone call the friggin' wwaaaaaaaahmbulance!
not me.
hold out for the highest frickin' offer apple legal can dish up. then say you want to talk to numero uno hisself. dat's right. then demand more from him.
oh, and have scary smart lawyers work out a deal where the blog shuts down but you can still publish under the nomme de plume and release an options 2, options 3, ..4, 5, 6 ... ... wotevah. and hold on to the movie rights, you putz.
then take the friggin' money and run, damn you, run.
leave us all behind in a cloud of interweb tubes dust and cackle as you go, sayin' "so long, suckaz! siooma!"
never look back. take the F-U money.
plus, ronnie & bhg will probably flock to you in a three-way triangle once the money is like stupid insane. ryan who?
what's more: you've got a family now. you got kids, who are gonna grow up, be a pain, need massive dental work with braces and retainers and what not and college funds and they'll crash your best cherry car at 17 while drunk and get arrested for doing blow and you'll have to bail their sorry asses out like the friggin' bush twins. plus the wife's gonna blame it all on you and be a nag and you'll need some personal time and toys to keep big daddy fakey steve-o happy [Ed. note: the link is definitiely NSFW, or around children or farm animals, if you click it, you have been warned]. like stupid larry happy. yer gonna needs some scratch.
you owe us nothing.
take the money. run.
vaya con dios, amigo.
i say this as your closest friend.
(p.s. - i get the joke. you need time with the fam during the holidaze. take it.)
namasté.
Well just toddle over to 1 infinite loop and tell them that this is 1 infinite blog...
I hope you are kidding, reading your blog each day made me appreciate Apple more. I can understand you taking the money and running but....in the long run I think it takes a little color and fun out of Apple. This is the first time I have ever seen a hint of the Borg in Apple. How sad, maybe their image and the corporation is changing, even if it was mostly smoke and mirrors it is fun to imagine the Apple garage with the bad boy on the block.
Bad Apple..bad bad bad....shame on you for taking some of the fun out of the party...
Merry Christmas to all....and Happy New Year FSJ...if you go you will be missed....
>> I'm going to assume this is real.
LOLLOLOLLOOLOLOLOLOL
Please don't go please.
I have been reading for the past one year and I just love it.
Go to court and fight and we will all donate money so you can hire good lawyers and win.
Tell fucking real steve jobs that due to your blog rants my girlfriend converted to mac and I tried every other way and couldn't get her to, but by reading your blog for a couple of months she become an instant convert.
Cash in and buy yourself something nice. Just whatever you do, don't buy a bunch of Dell products out of spite. They just aren't worth it.
Can't friggin believe AAPL. Guess they ultimately proved your point about projecting one personality while in fact being the exact opposite. But take the money and run - you've earned it. And thanks for all the laughs. This site was my daily chuckle and I split a gut on nearly every post, not to mention appreciating the many solid insights into the industry that you weaved in along the way.
Namaste. And to the real Steve Jobs: siooma!
F,baby, what have I done to earn such disrespect? You know all you have to do is say the word and I'll slip in to Cupertino to fix those blowtards' wagon but good. Use me. It's why I exist.
Your faithful servant,
Moshe
FSJ,
If you are going to go down why not go in style.
Can we put on an alternate Keynote to coincide with MacWorld.
It would be interesting to see how many people would attend instead of seeing RSJ.
Don't shut it down, this is an awesome blog! It's also a great way to get any important tech news.
Are there that many idiots ?
Don't you guys get it?
hey! don't you see it? dontcha see it?
claim prior art and sue them back!
one button on the iPhone was YOUR idea; let apple prove that it wasn't so. so was the sdk; and so was whatever-the-third-item is!
and if you win the suit, send me 500 grand. [surely, you won't sue em for small change, will you?]
The best things in life don't last, by their spectacular nature. (If you are having us on, I will kick your ass. Yet hasn't that been the exquisite torture of this blog, and who IS your spy par excellence, I mean, you don't pick up this stuff in Boston.) But you've done a fine, many-layered job, at the put on and everything else. If it IS true, what the fork do you expect. Now, of all times, the pressure to conform online is ...dizzgusting.
Do what makes you happy. Obviously you have a twisted nature that has trived at this, but hey. Sponsor? Just tell 'em you want a new contract. Remember, your writing life comes before all else.
Best, you fucker,
Zo
That's the last straw. This morning I wiped OS X and am full time Linux now. It was proving to be better, anyway.
FSJ needs to show RSJ what's up. I'm sorry but Steve Job's persona is part of what makes apple apple and FSJ helps, not hurts. I would like to see what happens when you fight apple... and not settle.
The whole Fake Steve Jobs concept is LAME... I'll be glad you go away, I'd wish / hope you'd not get paid a dime. What do you actually do that is useful?
Sorry to hear this news. Good luck resolving this with apple.
-Free iPod Touch
A Suggestion:
For giving you every single new piece of hard- and software from Apple for lifetime you will stop this blog and start a new one praising the technology of Apple and their wisdom.
Sheesh...if you're going to cite Ghandi, at the very least you ought to post his infamous quote "become the iPhone you see in others".
Suckers.
Great. My "Fake Forbes" website is ready to go live.
I'd say take the money and run, and enjoy '08 on a nice fake beach somewhere. It was a fun run, but after the WSJ outed you it hasn't been fun. They should hurry up, though, I hear there are some kids down at a hospital who still believe in Santa Claus.
I won't shed a tear if this blog disappears. I have read a couple of posts by FSJ that I consider racist and distasteful ("I hate Jews" or something similar), and attaching Steve Jobs' name to it, whether labeled as satire or not, is pretty repugnant.
dude protect your children and family thats all thats important
Dear Friend,
I have seen a very good website www.onlimoney.com and found the recomendation is very fruitful its
a fourm on which i can discuss stock and commodities sector.
Sign Up today at www.Onli Money.com
Dear Friend,
I have seen a very good website www.onlimoney.com and found the recomendation is very fruitful its
a fourm on which i can discuss stock and commodities sector.
Sign Up today at www.Onli Money.com
I really like your blog- have to check on it more often. If you are interested in
web-businesses maybe you should have a look at my blog :)
haha..it's so silly, This day will be best time to stop using apple...
So what do you end up doing?
http://www.elitefreestuff.com/free_mp3players.php
The IT sector inspite of witnessing a downward slope in the recent times still happens to be one of the most lucrative fields from the point of view of career. The innumerable number of institutes that are opening up in order to educate students on the field is testimonial to the fact the sector has not completely dried up from the point of view of jobs. To learn more about the various facets, workings, and employment opportunities in this ever eventful full check out this link http://www.infysolutions.com.
EVEN by wow gold the standards gold in wowd of the worst financial buy wow gold crisis for at least wow gold cheap a generation, the events of Sunday September 14th and the day before were extraordinary. The weekend began with hopes that a deal could be struck,maplestory mesos with or without government backing, to save Lehman Brothers, America''s fourth-largest investment bank.sell wow gold Early Monday buy maplestory mesos morning Lehman maplestory money filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. It has more than maplestory power leveling $613 billion of debt.Other vulnerable financial giants scrambled maple money to sell themselves or raise enough capital to stave off a similar fate. billig wow gold Merrill Lynch, the third-biggest investment bank, sold itself to Bank of America （BofA）, an erstwhile Lehman suitor,wow power leveling in a $50 billion all-stock deal.wow power leveling American International Group （AIG） brought forward a potentially life-saving overhaul and went maple story powerleveling cap-in-hand to the Federal Reserve. But its shares also slumped on Monday.
Post a Comment