Yes it's "Merry Christmas from the Family" by my main man Robert Earl Keen. One thing I wonder though -- is this an actual home movie or a hoax? I mean is that really Robert Earl Keen's family or are those actors? It's hard to tell because there's no sign or subtitles telling you that it's fake, and the guy singing the song and holding the guitar is definitely the real Robert Earl Keen and not an actor so I'm tending to think this is actually true.
Yeah. It's like that y'all. Sorry for any confusion, but it's all a joke. Only it's not really a joke, is it? I mean people actually are getting paid to shut up. For real. Well, Merry Christmas, if you celebrate Christmas. Much love and namaste to all. I honor the place where you and I and the Buddha become one. Peace out. Fight the power. Stop the war.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Still the finest Christmas song ever
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258 comments:
comedy gold.
First.
Does this mean this blog jumped the shark with the addition of an adopted son? Or a floating green alien that only FSJ can see?
Hope this isn't the NeXT that finally shuts the coffin man.
Merry Christmas everyone.
I think you caused a holiday hassle to RSJ... sounds like he got a lot of angry e-mails.
I was sad for you. You had my sympathy. You no longer have my readership.
People didn't figure out it was hoax yesterday? Good lord. Pull your heads out of your butts, people.
holey mama fking cow? this is a joke? ure good at it man.
Nicely done DL.
Your setup was awesome. While the bog that did shut down did not cause much outrage, FSJ shutting down had every one in the arms.
Job well done.
/slap
Classic.
Great commentary on the state of Apple. I really do hope RSJ reads this.
Merry Christmas FSJ!! That was awesome. And yes, I did get the point of the hoax, you last commentary was spot on and it's not a joke what happened to Think Secret.
See you next year!
F
Oh and yeah... those threatening to leave, calm down guys, it was only a joke, lighten up.
Except it wasn't a joke, of course.
F
To all the people who say that FSJ has "lost" a reader because you were too stupid to figure it out: Good riddance. He didn't lose anything, he gained a smarter readership.
Deep inside I knew you were joking all the time, but with you we never REALLY know. Anyway, this was a genius move.
Merry Christmas.
I honestly think the FSJ readers who didn't get this joke from the very first post just don't get what the whole blog is all about. This parody plot did an excellent job of highlighting exactly what's wrong with the ThinkSecret ordeal and I can't believe you guys didn't pick up on it - so many of you that Dan had to actually come out and tell you it wasn't real!
See what happens when you watch "Man on the Moon" and start thinking guerilla tactics work?
Your attorney Tony Clifton indeed!
Just the same, I think I speak for everyone when I say "another Christmas Miracle"
I've learned not to take anything FSJ writes seriously. There's always a grain of truth in what he writes but trying to separate fact from fiction can drive you batty. If your not sure, double check with another site.
Anyway, happy holidays! Namaste.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. You were completely right to draw attention to this issue in this provocative way. Corporations buying silence is a threat to liberty and everything this Nation stands for. People will talk about this for certain. I hope the big issue is not lost in the discussions.
As an aside, you should have tagged all these posts with Commentards as well. To all those who vow never to read the blog again: YOU NEVER GOT IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. YOU WERE JUST WASTING YOUR TIME. GO WATCH TV.
Brilliant.
Well done, FDL. You had me, I admit - though even I caught on eventually... .
I'll admit, too, that I was not so upset at the loss of freedom of the press as I was at the loss, to me, of the incomparable FSJ! So, please - I've learned my lesson, really - please don't take Fake Steve away again! He's the only thing on the internet that makes sense!
Merry Christmas. Namaste. I honor the place where your genius and Robert Earl Keen, Jr.'s are one.
If there was an adopted son - yes, jumped the shark.
Floating green alien - NEVER! That would be brilliant!
Man, if that was all a joke, that was a good one. The forth wall, the curtain, everything was all down.
Merry Christmas!
How can you call fake posts on a fake blog a hoax? Was Bono breaking into Blogger and posting a hoax? Is all the stuff about Larry Ellison a hoax? Of course it is, it has the word FAKE in the name.
This really is brilliant commentary about Apple's sue-happy ways lately. Thanks.
to those who write that we should have known it was a joke, there's a point THEY are missing: what FSJ wrote was so close to the truth as to BE genuine. That's both what confused people and what made it brilliant satire: it reminded many, many readers that Apple's image allows what FSJ reported to be believable or on the cusp. We had to wonder, might apple really have done that? And by wondering, we get an insight into how apple operates, or how we think it does.
Hullo...people? Tony Clifton? I mean, come one. As if that wasn't an obvious enough tip, FSJ included a photo of Kauffman.
A wicked riff on how Apple is slowly becoming Microsoft.
To all the complainers, if you can't keep up, BoingBoing is just a click away.
FSJ's genius continues.
Mike from Michigan
Say FSJ,
Writin' ya from the fookin' plane.
Plans changed. Me n' the Missus are comin' over anyway. Seems The Holy Father changed his mind and is gonna do the Christmas Day reading himself. A glory hog, that one. He jus' likes to show off that he can speak all those languages, but guess what? It's all on a fookin' teleprompter. Told the pilot to divert from Rome to Mountain View of all fookin' spots.
So we're landin' at
the Googletards strip 'bout 6pm local time. Oh, and I've got Adam, Edge, n' Larry with us. Hope y'don't mind there, boyo. Have the rum ready, eh?
Namaste and all that
B
>> Only it's not really a joke, is it? I mean people actually are getting paid to shut up.
Indeed. Merry Christmas to you and yours. Namaste. I honor the place where your satire and a better world in 2008 will become one.
I remain a loyal reader.
what a waste of time.
After the launch (and failure) of the "improved" New Coke, the Coca Cola company figured out what they hadn't realized: they no longer owned the Coke brand-- it belonged to their customers.
When Steve Jobs lowered the price of the iPhone, customers got angry... unusual when a company reduces its prices. But a powerful, positive brand turns out to be a kind of a pact that helps (millions of people watch your product-launch ads for free!) and limits (no margin-enhancing craplets allowed on a Mac.)
Looks like Dan Lyons has just discovered this lesson for himself. And that's a great Christmas present for all of us. The best teachers are constant learners, and Dan Lyons is teaching (how journalism works, how satire can push the envelope), learning, and creating something extraordinary in the process. We're all waiting for the next chapter.
Wow! The world's opinion of bloggers changed from "They're not real journalists" to real outrage over a fake missive.
You know things are out of hand when Hollywood gets involved. DiCaprio reportedly called Gore at RSJ's home to voice his concerns.
What a green Leotard.
>> So all this about you getting sued is a hoax? That's not funny. You just lost another reader. I hope you get sued for slander.
LOL. Not just you alex. When you can't distiguish between reality and an openly fake parody site? Yeah, you probably should leave here...and other places. *rolls eyes*
>> The best teachers are constant learners, and Dan Lyons is teaching (how journalism works, how satire can push the envelope), learning, and creating something extraordinary in the process.
Has the f#*kin' world goned mad? Journalism? You think this blog is journalism??? Now onto what it is; This is nothing new, War of the Worlds propelled Wells to the next level. So as long as he doesn't make jokes about RSJ's rosebud he should be OK.
Merry Christmas. God bless us everyone!
FSJ, you are very naughty boy (and not the Free Speech Messiah). But yes I laughed, and no I wasn't fooled.
Serious question from a Brit: does anyone care, I mean really care, what happened to ThinkSecret?
Don't forget to say a nice public thank you to RSJ for making it all possible. He's let you get away with causing him some serious inconvenience, courtesy of the Gullitards.
Merry Christmas, Dan, from a freshly-pwned commentard. You really had me going for the first three or four episodes of this drama, although I did mention after the second or third one that it might be a meta-drama. Then your mention of the attorney itemizing the list of your assets took me in hook, line, and sinker. It reminded me of when Valleywag or someone was trying to out you by digging into your personal life. But I can't believe I fell for the part about the EFF not helping you because they didn't like you.
As someone--Terry, I think--mentioned, the point is that the whole scenario is close enough to what we know that it's not much of a stretch. Apple did, in fact, effectively shut down Think Secret. No matter how people try to dress it up, rationalize it, or spin it, the net result is pretty ugly.
OH NOOOO...!!
Now they're paying him to say it's a joke! The ultimate fake-out!
BASTARDS!!!
(I'm actually calm. These are fake exclamation points.)
To all a good night!
And to one of my favorite companies I say as Ralph Kramden might: "To the moon, Apple!"
Daniel Eran Dilger has your number, pal.
http://www.roughlydrafted.com/2007/12/23/daniel-lyons-cries-wolf-the-real-bill-gates-behind-the-fake-steve-jobs/
You've jumped the shark, and missed the ramp on the other side.
David hit the nail on the head, however, I would like to add on a bit if I might be so bold?
DL's focus on an issue related to his personal life forced all of us to sit up and take notice immediately. I would even suggest that nearly all of us initially bought into his premise.
However, careful observation quickly revealed that was a ruse, designed to focus our attention on the larger issue at hand (information flow control).
I suppose that I'm disappointed that it took so long with increasingly blatant clues for some people to get on board. And now that the cat is out of the bag, some people are leaving?
I don't get it...so, you got punk'd and now you're upset?
As David hinted at above, boundaries (fiction/reality - traditional journalism/satire) are being pushed in order to find the limits.
Unfortunately, there are casualties anytime borders are tested.
Keep up the fight.
The reason so many were duped by this thread is that Lyons stepped out of character as FSJ, and instead wrote as (supposedly) RDL. I think the only time we're heard from RDL before was when he was talking about his book. Readers are used to FSJ and RDL, but I think FDL is a new phenomenon. Speaking as RDL in order to create a kind of meta-parody expanded the bounds of whatever rules governed the joke-universe of this blog... so, readers were primed to think of it as reality.
The funniest part of this entire affair is the number of people coming out after the fact stating how they knew from the beginning it was an obvious joke, and making comments about how stupid everyone else was for not recognizing it. How many times have we seen that (almost comical) ridiculous reaction. How many sitcoms repeat the same theme over and over? I'm only sorry I missed all the action from the beginning, or I could jump on the same bandwagon. "Heh, I knew it was a joke from the very start. I just didn't say anything because I didn't want to ruin the joke ...". I'm more curious to see how many more people come out of the woodwork saying something similar. Now THAT will give me a chuckle.
We've already seen witnessed similar displays of people not questioning things they've seen or heard and reacting like the sky is falling. Have we already forgotten Al Gore's movie and the uproar it caused? Perhaps if it were titled "An Unfortunate Twisting of Facts", more people would have paused and questioned statements made by Al that some have accepted as true.
Let's face it. A large segment of the human population simply don't have the capacity to think and reason. They simply react to one stimulus after another.
FYI- Another lost reader here. Bye.
Nice one! Totally had me going between belief & disbelief. Just brilliant!
Rock on!
@neonomad
No, the real reason is people stopped thinking. Reading without thinking is the role of sheep. If you aren't thinking while you read you are already sunk. Seriously, reread that stuff. Reread the damn comments!
Running away from this blog isn't going to solve the problem because everywhere you are you'll turn around and find the problem there.
\:
Dear FSJ,
I call this as it is; an attempt to measure your readership’s reaction if you were actually going to pack up your keyboard. Emphasis on the word IF, cause its not going to happen.
You see, you have a contract. Yep that’s right, you should have read the fine print on that book deal. Basically, it says you have to write the blog (and be funny) until we say you can stop. Nobody said stop, so sip a little eggnog, but then it is back to the computer on Boxing Day, it not sooner.
Oh, what’s that? You’re the great El Jobso and nobody can tell you what to do. Well buddy, I have two words for you: Moshe.
Yep, that’s right, he moonlights. (Hey, with the wages you pay him, he has too). Anyway, I hired Moshe to pay you a visit and read you that fine print we discussed. So while most of us will be having Santa come down our chimneys, you get Moshe. Hope he fits; he says he has been going to Jenny Craig, but with the holidays and all, I don’t know…. Anyhoo, Moshe says he can get there right quick; says he knows where you hide the keys for the Jobs Jet. I asked him to go easy and to leave the fingers intact (you have to be able to type), so I think your safe, well sort-of safe.
All the best,
-John
P.S. Seriously, the blog is excellent! Keep up the great work. Merry Zen-like Christmas to you and yours.
Guy - are you fucking serious? Roughly drafted?! LOL
Hey Jobso: Santa here. I'm currently pulling up to the International Space Station.
http://www.noradsanta.org/en/home.htm
I've run out of iPod's for all the good little boys and girls. I'm afraid I may have to start substituting Zunes.
Can you have a semi full of iPods parked in the lot at 1 Infinite Loop, and I'll drop by when I hit the Bay Area..ETA 21:00 PT.
Text me if you need any info, and thanks.
PS- Larry asked for another bong, but it won't fit in his stocking. Who knew?
Scene from "Silicon Valley Town":
"It's true!"
(slap)
"It's false!"
(slap)
"It's true!"
(slap)
"It's false!"
(slap)
"It's true AND it's false!!"
The New Yorker had it pegged long ago"
You went too far this time, imho. Not cool.
TO: Mr. Clark
FR: Moshe
DT: 12/24/07
RE: As discussed.
------------------
Finally found the keys to the Jobs Jet. You know those little magnetized key-keeper things you stick inside your bumper to hold extra keys? Uh-huh.
Listen, regarding the visit we discussed- you want this done clean..or do you need to send a message?
Let me know- I'm en route. Still Palo Alto, right?
M
PS- It wasn't Jenny Craig, it was Nutri-System. All that egg-nogg at the Google party did it.
You''re ... you're NOT really Steve Jobs?
Did I miss something?
RoughlyDrafted nails what this Lyons guy is all about and it ain't pretty. It's a shame, I got some laughs from him over the last couple of months but this last day or two has made the motivations behind this MS/Forbes sponsored mouthpiece pretty see through. For the full insight read on. roughlydrafted.com/2007/12/23/daniel-lyons-cries-wolf-the-real-bill-gates-behind-the-fake-steve-jobs/
- "Silicon Valley Town"
Hey Anonymous, that's too funny!
But then, maybe it's me congratulating me...
Yay FSJ for knowing the proper usage of the word y'all. I honour the place where our vocabulary and your comedic taste meet. *lol*
Merry Christmas
Go fuck yourself FSJ.
I didn't think it too funny, but I thought it was very clever and at the same time sad, because it IS happening.
I had it at:
"enjoy the time off. Spend time with your loved ones. Turn off your computer. Remember what's important. Little hint: It ain't this. Peace out to all, and to all a good night."
But still, no need to "stop reading" because you were gullible enough to fall for it and humorless enough to take offense to it.
Merry Christmas to all - and to all, a good night.
On a different topic, please tell me that's not a Dell ad i see at the top right of your blog!
FSJ usually writes that he is stepping out of character when he wants to communicate as Dan Lyons. He did it when thanking people that attened or helped in the reading sessions of his book.
FSJ created another layer of fakeness in this episode: an appletard blog writer that posts as FSJ. Or would you seriously believe that Lyons would wear a 'I visisted the mothership' tshirt?
To those that threaten to leave come on take a joke. I even fell for it until yesterday, but seriously laugh at yourselves and realize how involved you've become in this fake little world and how crazy is that? We got the wool pulled over our eyes and sometimes you just have to congratulate some one on masterful job. Well done FSJ well done.
>> Guy - are you fucking serious? Roughly drafted?! LOL
Exactly, the same one that pumps their insanely slanted 'articles' with Something Awful-grade photoshops. Sadly they probably are serious. \:
P.S. A very clear #2 on the top tag list in the righthand column, "Microtard". Yeah, that's taking it easy on Microsoft. Afterall FSJ has done nothing but paint a glowing picture of 'Uncle Fester' and 'Beastmaster'. X_X
-When asked about Lyons’ latest spoof series of being legally challenged by Apple, the real Steve Jobs responded directly to panicked users’ emails, “I think this is a joke, and I think you fell for it.”
haha, RSJ just told everyone to STFU, he's joking...
if that quote is true then it's even funnier that RSJ said "I think this is a joke, and I think you fell for it." I thought he'd KNOW it was a joke, seeing as how he runs the company!
@yo momma
If he actually said that I think he was just being polite. ;)
Damn, you got me!
Well done sir!
"seriously laugh at yourselves and realize how involved you've become in this fake little world and how crazy is that?"
That's exactly why it's time to leave. DL betrayed the reader's trust, because even in a crazy fake world there are boundaries (created by DL himself). You can call them "stupid" but they were regulars who trusted the author. His "DL" voice had always been straight, and that was the expectation he'd conditioned in them.
They weren't stupid. No. It's more like they were Pavlov's dogs . . . given the same treat for the same stimulus, they didn't expect a sudden change in the routine.
DL had made the rules and the readers followed . . . the sudden changeup was jarring. In a literary sense he removed the stop sign at the intersection and caused a crash.
The results weren't pretty. The relationship between author and reader is to be respected. It's a two-way street. DL ignored that. He's jerked with the readers before in minor ways (the portugalians) and clearly the power began to corrupt him absolutely.
@Anonymous
I think so too!
but it's still funny to me!
Funny in a sadistic way. To the more sensitive reader it is not funny.
DL narrows his audience with these stunts.
That rouglydrafted article is completely bunk.
DL as FSJ constantly rips on MS, whether it's about MS ripping off Apple, referring to them as the Borg, making fun of Ballmer, or constantly linking to articles showing what a failure MS is.
DL calls them as he sees them, you're just mad that this also includes Apple from time to time (however MUCH less than the anti-MS stuff).
Get over it.
The reader should have been smart enough to realize that in this specific situation it was necessary to write the satire as a 'fake' DL due to the subject matter. Jeezis, the thinksecret thing just happened. Derrr!
What kind of panty-waisted crybabies say they are going to leave? This was brilliant. Apparently its okay to satirize Apple and Jobs but not retarded readers who can't laugh at themselves. That is the best part of this all!
Dan the Man, you rock.
>>Or would you seriously believe that Lyons would wear a 'I visisted the mothership' tshirt?>>>
I do believe I either read or heard in an interview that he does.
And maybe I am sick, but I am getting some sick amusement out of imagining RSJ getting all those emails. It is just the mental picture, mock turtleneck and all.
FSJ, can I come over for Christmas dinner? Kathy kicked me out.
Well done DL, it gives people a new perspective on the Apple lawsuit thing, afterall Think Secret has been out of the picture for a while.
The thing that disturbed me about all this is that Dan Lyons was blogging as Dan Lyons, and *not* as Fake Steve Jobs.
Yes, I can reverse-suspend disbelief in small doses here and there, and for things like pimping your book. I understand those cases, I really do.
But to come out of character for an extended "scene" like this really annoyed me, now that I find out it's not true.
I'm glad you're not getting angry attacks from Apple lawyers, but try to stay in character in the future. If you want to start a Dan Lyons blog, start a Dan Lyons blog. I'll happily read it.
But when you're here, you're Fake Steve Jobs. Got it?
When Scrooge wake up at end of Christmas Carol, is not sure if all had been dream, or if real visitation from ghosts.
Point is, did not matter. Scrooge learn lesson anyway.
Childrens today, they not understand idea of parable. Is ironic since we celebrate birth of Jesus.
Imitation Jobs, he makes us the liquid chocolate beverage, pulls us snugly to fires, tells us story. Is true story? childrens ask. Is not point, childrens! Moral of story, is point.
Lyudmila, she ask me, if story Imitation Jobs post is not true, why do I spend much time on blogs, posting comments? I tell her, story of Imitation Jobs is like amerikanski breasts of Pamela Andersons. Even if artificial, false, is still difficult to look away.
Lyudmila not think joke funny.
Is close to Christmas in West, da? Still do not know why you do not celebrate on correct date of January 7. And why Grandfather Frost wears suit of red instead of blue. And why you put tinsel, electric lights on Yolka instead of delicious fruits.
In Russia, we have also have Snyegurochka, Snowmaiden. Is beautiful woman giving presents! Like Pamela Andersons, dressed in white --
Excuse please. Lyudmila is calling.
Dear FSJ : you made my day (I mean, my evening here in the Old Europe). Thank you so much for all the lessons you teach us. RSJ is a true genius, that's a given. You FSJ are a genius too.
I honor the place where your sense of humor and mine become one.
Yours, truly,
_Fake Marc
Hey Dan you asshole,
you ruined my holidays. I got tons of hate-mail because of your stupid (and not funny at all) "FSJ Shutdown Drama" crap.
I hope you burn in hell for this.
Steve Jobs
Let me see if I have this right.
1) Nobody seems to get too upset when ThinkSecret gets shut down (OK, ThinkSecret agrees to go dark for an undisclosed sum).
2) DL does a "drama" (like that tag wasn't a hint...) that he too is being pressured to shut down through similar means.
3) People get pissed that Apple is acting that way.
4) It is revealed to be a "drama."
5) A good number of people get pissed at DL. No, "Huh - thanks for opening my eyes to the greater consequences of Apple's course of actions." No, "Huh - maybe I should be angry about the ThinkSecret deal." No, instead we get "you tricked me & I'm leaving." Well kids, good riddance. Come back when you've leaned to think a bit.
And I'll say it: FSJ, thanks man.
WTF?! People are being paid to shut up?!
So WTF is wrong with Nokia?
Nokia 770: The Endgame
Pack of Finnish retards.
But unlike you, who'd settle for a figure that is in a beta-test increment (>1...), I'd want a RELEASE figure amount of money!
Bah. Who am I kidding? I can't even be rented!
This will go down in joke history.
Boundaries Shmoundaries. I think what you did is truly genius and I freely admit that I was about 70% fooled. You masterfully walked the line by giving blatant hints that are crystal clear in hindsight but also staying close enough to the rules and current landscape of reality to prove your point.
You've found the rare sweet spot for satire. You keep your readers on their toes so they have to deeply think about what you write.
Don't change a thing (except if it is to further push the boundaries of your newly created genre).
A much more loyal fan,
Russell Ball
FYI: My homage to your good fun: http://geekswithblogs.net/coredump/archive/2007/12/24/117957.aspx
The problem is that many took action, sent angry emails to Jobs, Apple, sent back their Macbook, returned iPods, vowed to never purchase an Apple product again, etc.
Fine that DL makes a point about freedom of the press for bloggers, etc., but it's the WAY he did it that incited the online riot. And that's what angers people -- not the message itself, but the way it was delivered.
The message that was reinforced for me is that the online blogging community is, once again, allowed to bend the rules or totally ignore them. Blogging as real journalism? They want to be treated with the same respect as the print media even when they betray the trust of a significant portion of their readership ? How does that work?
For every one of you who are now coming out and saying "Oh yeah, I knew it all along" there is likely someone who feels betrayed. Call them stupid as much as you want but that doesn't change how they feel (only makes them angrier), and the damage in their relationship with the author. Once your spouse cheats on you the relationship is never the same again . . .
While this blog started out as fun and games, Lyon's obvious ploy to create backlash against Apple has exposed his leanings toward Redmond. All you guys who support him in this endeavor do a disservice to a company who is, for all intents, attempting to free the world from the cult of mediocrity that is Microsoft.
By elevating Think Secret to the likes of the New York Times or any newspaper that does true investigative journalism, often to expose corruption and dangers to the public warfare, is disingenuous at least and libel at worse. The simple fact of the matter is that Think Secret broke the LAW by violating trade secrets and non-disclosure agreements.
By elevating this farce to an issue of free speech, Lyons speaks to the fringe; to those who truly hate Apple and want to cause Apple economic harm. For those of you who like Apple and use their products, I encourage you to take the next logical step and ignore this blog, Forbes and/or entities related to Daniel Lyons and the crooks in Redmond who pay his bills.
that vladimir putin comment was one of the funniest things i've read. ever. well done.
to all the people telling DL how to run his blog and who he should be or be faking...
fuck off. it's not your blog. if you don't like it don't read and go start your own.
I love all the wounded comments from the crybabies self-righteously proclaiming that DL "broke the rules" and getting their panties in a bunch. Please, get over yourselves.
I remember at first telling myself that if this turned out to be a joke, I'd be pissed, until I actually stopped to think about it. In fact, DL has made a real point and generated a lot of comments (some notably better than others) about the issue of Apple shutting down a voice it didn't approve of.
And as for Roughly Drafted, leading the charge of the tinfoil hat brigade, get real. This guy spends more time explaining conspiracies, in excruciatingly exquisite detail, than the people who dream up the real ones.
I watched the You Tube clips of DL at Google and the LinkedIn event again, and it's clear that above all, DL is having fun with this and making the occasional larger point. Anybody who reads more into it than that could benefit from a dose of perspective. Please at least watch those clips again before you comment further
to mike alaster, daniel eran, etc.
I love FSJ because he goes after everyone. These Redmond leanings that you refer to just aren't there, I've read FSJ from the beginning and see no evidence of this.
the term 'microtard' is so commonly used now it's easy to forget that Dan coined the term.
stop looking for something that isn't there. be open minded to the fact that as apple grows and gains share, they are capable of becoming MS-like and should not be excluded from scrutiny.
That was the part of Roughly Drafted's write-up that didn't make much sense...
FSJ being a shill for Billy G - while seemingly ignoring all the Borg, Beastmaster & Uncle Fester references...
I guess he hasn't re-read the "Siooma" post, recently.
Anyway: I loved how I couldn't be certain the "FSJ Shutdown Drama" was real - or not.
Reminded me that the best lies have about 90% truth to them.
And, it was a good behind-the-scenes look at what the undergraduate-student running Think Secret probably experienced when sued by Apple...
i.e. the novelty of using the phrase "my lawyer" in conversation, the cost of legal representation, etc.
Nicely done.
"issue of Apple shutting down a voice it didn't approve of"
Think Secret was a voice abetting illegal activity (violating nondisclosure agreements).
Apple had a duty to act. As an Apple shareholder I demand they act against anyone publishing company confidential information, because this causes material damage to their competitive position, which will ultimately affect my investment.
Oh, I won't leave. Even though I did believe it, and now feel like an idiot. Hell, I even rationalized why he would use the name Tony Clifton.
But I can take a joke.
It's not so much the 'shutdown drama' that disturbs
me; rather, the fact that Vladimir Putin is spending so much time on the 'entrozneyt', gleaning so much insight into the 'Amerikanish' psyche and posting such amusing comments to this site – damn, sly ex KGB bastard... and I mean that in a nice way.
Maybe V.P. should suspend the fake democratic
Russia (did they just leap frog this country to become the leading Capitalist model?) and consider coming to OneInfiniteLoop(OIL,hmmm,coincidence)
to succeed RSJ and get a sense of what
real power, and it's corrupting effect, is like.
He seems to share RSJ's sense of focus... and has
a sense of humor he could share with his fellow commenters. With Vlad at the helm AAPL goes
225 rubles +.
To anonymous at 12:24: I'll see your demand as an Apple shareholder and raise it with my interest, as an American citizen, in freedom of the press. In fact, I'm all in, with the backing of the Supreme Court in the Pentagon Papers decision.
you had to know it was totally fake when the Apple lawyer upped his offer. An Apple lawyer would make on offer and stick to it or go down in price.
Congratulations, you've committed libel.
Never mind the FSJ issue, have you not heard? Something much more horrible has happened! Strange ships from Mars have have landed at Grovers Mill in NJ!! This has been confirmed by Professor Pierson at the Princeton Observatory!
Well Well Well, Hoax during Chritmas... and its not even close to April. Funny stuff though!
Amanda from DCMetrocentric
I don't get it.
Damn it! Now I don't even know if Robert Earl is real.
Damn internet! I mean if REK isn't real who the hell
was that guy I saw in Colorado 17 years ago?
Damn internet... if this all turns out to be a KGB ruse
someone is going to pay... someone... OK, I don't
know who, but someone... maybe this lil G4 isn't
even real... how the hell did I get sucked into this
funhouse of mirrors?
To Mike Alaster:
You're a jack ass. Blind loyalty towards any company is ridiculous.
Being critical of Apple is as crucial as championing them.
If not more.
"Anonymous Steve Jobs said...
Hey Dan you asshole,
you ruined my holidays. I got tons of hate-mail because of your stupid (and not funny at all) "FSJ Shutdown Drama" crap...."
Some of the haters and true fans better hit the Apple Store to make up for this,...After all, this site does have NO affiliation with Apple. Boost up Apple's margin a little more for lost time, boost profits. Get some tech, iPod, iMac?
Make up for wasted time and profits.
Satire is fine. The problem comes when you write something that isn't obviously satire and it's picked up by other popular sites as the real thing.
How many people read the headlines in SlashDot, Engadget, etc. and now believe that this whole incident happened as written. In a very real sense you have caused damage to Apple and to Steve Jobs' reputation. I guess that was your intent.
I recall that you also faked a take-down notice from Apple some time ago. It seems you enjoy hurting people's reputations.
You acted irresponsibly and unethically. If you worked for me you would be fired in a heartbeat.
I didn't figure it was a joke until you told us who the lawyer was - and it took me two reads to notice. Great job, FSJ, hilarious!
I think it is a joke.
Steve
On Dec 23, 2007, at 3:24 AM, Omer Bila wrote:
Steve,
Can you tell those lawyers to cool it man? Fake Steve worships you and your company. So many hard core Apple fans cruise to his site for some humor and amusement in honor of you.
This is going to look really bad for Apple if it gets out of hand.
I love you anyways though.
Everyone needs a hero.
Yours - XXXX XXXX
Yep... I fell for it.
- Omer Bila
damn you, fakey-steve-o! siooma and F-U, pal. you know damn well that is not robert earl keen's family — it's mine! thanx a pant-load.
ah well — good one, anyway. you got me. now i'm going to need to drink even more to forget all about them, or catch up with them, or a little of both. but i still lubz ya, fsj, ya ball-bustin' bastard. namasté.
peace out. stop the war. buy sanjaya's album on iTunes.
This just raises more questions: If Apple didn't really try to shut down this blog, did they not really shut down Think Secret, either, and dePlume really did want to move on? Or did they really shut down Think Secret and are now paying you to ruin your own blog by driving away readers so it can be shut down quietly? Or was this just to win a bet that you could get your bosses at Forbes to call you a dipshit to your face? It's all so confusing...
I am shocked that so little of you have an actual grasp of the facts in the Think Secret case and have fallen, hook, line and sinker for the pseudo patriotic BS that Lyons has been feeding you.
Think Secret was accused of putting up advertisements at local college/university campuses in the Bay Area (knowing there were a lot of Apple employees at these campuses), and offering a reward for Apple employees to come forward and reveal company secrets.
It was this deliberate enticement of Apple employees that was the key point as it went beyond merely reporting rumors and entered into the territory of paying employees to violate their oaths. Whether or not Nick Ciarelli actually ended up paying anyone for anything, it was that action that put him outside of the law and differentiated him from the other Apple rumor sites.
The attempt to spin this as "Apple closing down bloggers" and imply that "any blogger could be next" is complete BS. You have to break the law to get in trouble and however technical a breach, that's what sunk Think Secret.
Say what you want, but this is actually a win for those who take an oath to protect trade secrets and later, break them.
When I was a kid growing up in the 1960s, I loved to read MAD magazine. There was nothing "real" about it. No ads, no letters to the editor -- even the printed price tag (15c - CHEAP!) was self-mocking. The articles and illustrations were completely wigged-out and hilarious, and were blessedly devoid of a Point Of View. It was irreverent, slightly gross at times, and, best of all, it was downright silly! In one of their spoofs of the comic pages, mischievous Dennis The Menace scampers into the kitchen waving a skull and exclaims to his beleaguered mother, "look what I found in Mr. Wilson's head!" That was the kind of stuff that an all-too-serious adolescent like myself needed to see.
At some point, though, MAD began to take stances. At first, their sole target was the cigarette industry ("A MAD Look At Worst Moments In Advertising" - when the Marlboro Man sees his chest X-ray.) Then the Vietnam War, and civil rights... all good causes, to be sure, but that's when MAD stopped being funny, and became (eccchh!) didactic.
FSJ appealed to me for the same reason as early MAD. Now Dan Lyons has begun using this blog as a soapbox, and we can smell his anger. The best humor, in my opinion, often originates in anger or fear, but dissolves them completely. I'm afraid that just wasn't happening in the FSJ Shutdown arc.
I love how we're now trapped with a weird middle blogger stuck between Daniel Lyons and Fake Steve. How will Dan get out of this one?
You're infamous:
http://www.roughlydrafted.com/2007/12/23/daniel-lyons-cries-wolf-the-real-bill-gates-behind-the-fake-steve-jobs/#more-1406
Mike Alaster,
You begin by saying 'facts' but then go on to use words like 'accusations' and say things like 'Whether or not Nick Ciarelli actually ended up paying anyone for anything'.
This whole thing has been 'accusations' on both sides, we, including yourself, may never know exactly what was said or what was offered in the meetings between Ciarelli and Apple.
From everyone elses point of view you need to understand that it appears that you are spinning things as much as the other side out of pure fanatacism for Apple.
You would love for Lyons to be as 'angry' and out to get it for apple as you make him out to be but in reality that's just not how it looks to everyone else.
Get out of your own little world and take some advice from your fearless leader:
'i think it's a joke. i think you fell for it'
-Steve Jobs
wow. some serious 'need to get a life' people around. Extremely serious. Worryingly so. 'leaving?' You can 'leave' a blog as a reader such that anyone cares? that's worse than instructions on toothpicks...
Can't be bothered to get worked up about it though.
Very nice writing, Fake Steve... Enjoy the break...
So it doesn't bother anyone here that Lyons is painting Apple as a corrupt corporation, by ignoring the actual facts in the case that initiated this entire sham of a blog entry. He implies, using his own fake shutdown as a example, that Think Secret was run by a guy who loves Apple and their products, when it was really just a guy determined to ruin Apple's economic power in the market.
The people who accept this blog at face value and refuse to see how detrimental Lyon's refusal to stem a tide of discontent, when slashdot and digg and several other news outlets are picking up this lie and reproducing it as fact, are just as fanatical and blind as the Apple lovers accused of cult worship.
boobdmac,
You are equating the Pentagon Papers to an Apple product? You are truly a moron.
You had me on the edge, but I refused to jump! Keep it going FSJ.
The joke is on all those who failed to see it was a joke until slapped across the face with a dead fish. No wonder GWB is running the place... Idiots.
so Mike Alaster or whatever your name is, in what way was giving the game away after a couple of days then spelling it out NOT quelling the discontent of the people who took a satirical and persona-led blog that never contained a fact to speak of at face value?
good grief. the blog is funny but the comments are really depressing...
How about some peppermint-flavored high colonics for everyone whose panties are in a bunch? Just in time for the holiday season.
(RDL, brilliant work. FSJ is the most hilarious blog on the internets. I thank you for the laughter your writing invokes. Keep it up. Happy holidays.)
Mike Alester,etc-
Your "facts" include the presumption that Ciarelli was out to "ruin Apple's economic power in the market?" Excuse me, but isn't that just a teensy bit of leap to an unsubstantiated conclusion? Maybe he was instead actually out to make money by publishing newsworthy information. I defy you to put a monetary figure on the money Apple lost because of the "Asteroid" and whatever the hell the other post was. As I've cited earlier, people need to understand that the founders of this country, in their wisdom, realized that there was no real democracy without freedom of the press, and the Supreme Court has consistently followed this same logic. Check out the Times v. Sullivan (libel) and Pentagon Papers Decisions (censorship and National Security).
In any event, Lyons certainly isn't responsible for other people's irresponsibility in rushing to publish stories that they don't even bother to check out. At least some of the people here who got snookered took the initiative to write to Steve Jobs. That was more than the idiots at some of these other sites did.
Apple certainly has a right to go after their own employees who violated any NDA's, but Ciarelli didn't sign those NDA's, and it's not (or it shouldn't be) up to Apple to determine what blogs I can read. To me, it's much more sinister that Apple is using their money to throw their weight around, extorting (or bribing, take your pick) news sources into oblivion.
Oh Boy! I just got a call from Vladimer Putin and he wants me to call off Moshe. At first, I was like no way, and this is none of your business. But then the starts talking about all the old KGB guys that I know, and the fun we had, and hits me with the “but its Christmas line”. Next thing I know we are singing songs about Mother Russia and drinking vodka straight from the bottle (not even in a brown bag). I think Vladie might have had one too many because he started asking if I could hook him up with Pamela Anderson, whatever.
Anyhoo, I relent and promised I would tell Moshe to abort the mission. Here is the problem: I can’t reach Moshe. I keep calling his iPhone but can’t raise him. You know, Jobso, this is your own fault; if you would have just given us the 3G network from the get-go, I am sure the calls would go through.
So it looks like I won’t be able to abort the mission without your help. As soon as Moshe arrives, tell him to call me. He will probably ignore you so you will need to use the “safe word”. Now remember this, the safe word is Palomino. Say it with me Palomino. Moshe is going to be so disappointed, I just know he was looking forward to this mission.
-John
To anonymous at 2:59-
No, you missed my point. I was saying that even when national security was supposedly at stake, it didn't meet the standard to invoke censorship. The point is that if you're going to trample on the First Amendment by shutting down a publicatiion, the dispute at issue needs to meet a sterner test than the questionable premise of hurting some company's profit margin.
Oh boy, you have caused a lot of traffic on the net, me thinks you might even have caused some collisions!
You naughty, living, breathing, hoax of a man!
For the record I was positive it was a joke all along.
Mr. Alaster,
You're assuming because some idiots posted this to slashdot and digg that that means it was automatically Dan Lyon's intention for this to happen.
On the contrary, I would argue that in no way could ANYONE predict that so many people would be THIS STUPID. For him to even have to come out and say point blank that it was fake is sad and pathetic.
You should be attacking the 'real' bloggers out there that are intentionally filling people's heads with bullshit for reasons other than satire or humor.
DL just proved what a sad bunch of suckers the interweb community can be.
Incidently, its not like DL has never joked about writing the blog before. Remember the 'dream team'?
Um, okay.
First of all, to the Dilgertards: shut up. Tell your master that only the ridiculous go around using a first, middle, and last name.
Second of all, to the people who are talking about slander and libel: shut up. You are network administrators. You are not lawyers. Ron Paul is not going to be president.
Third of all, to Dan Lyons: start writing funny posts pretending to be Steve Jobs. That's why people come here. They don't give a crap about Think Secret or Apple suing people. No one needs you to turn this blog into a political statement. It used to be nice to come here because it was just funny, but now you're clearly taking yourself much, much too seriously.
Merry Christmas.
FSJ, Great work. I bit, and bit hard... even sent a few mealy-mouthed emails to the mother-ship.
In the end I'm reflecting on a) how much pleasure I find in reading your blog, and b) how absolutely shitty this ThinkSecret thing is.
Mission accomplished.
Happy Holidays to everyone.
Keep it real, Fake Steve. Well, as real as a fictitious character can, anyway.
So.
I guess Apple users aren't so bright after all.
Sending emails to Steve Jobs (I mean c'mon, seriously?). Vowing to not buy Apple again. REAL GENIUSES I TELL YA.
***NEWSFLASH YOU DOUCHE***
I know this is hard to believe -- but you *are not* Andy Kaufmann... So thinking that's what you're pulling here, doesn't just illustrate that you're clueless to what Andy was doing, but moreso still need to get a few clues about what's funny.
Real blogs are getting shut down for cash. It's serious.
I'm sorry. What exactly is so controversial about Think Secret?
Apple employee gives Think Secret information about new Apple project.
Think Secret publishes it.
Apple says, "Tell us who gave you that."
Think Secret refuses, because a kid who's apparently been in college since like 1998 has really high journalistic standards with his Apple rumors website.
Apple says, "Fine. We're taking your ass to court."
Such was the deal: Think Secret doesn't have to reveal who its source was, but they do have to shut down (so they will never do it again). In exchange, they will receive more money in a single payment than any person commenting on this post makes in a year.
What is the problem here? You people are idiots.
And for those who've decided that the shutdown drama constitutes slander or libel, maybe you can explain to me why claiming that Larry Ellison takes special Viagra and imagines himself clubbing his co-workers to death with his genitalia is not slander or libel. Dan Lyons writes about himself and somehow he's done something illegal, but all the other stuff has been fine.
Seriously, get off the Internet. You're making a mess of it with your stupidity.
WTF? Turn in your sense of design and taste card to Jony.
The whole Apple Lawyer thing was kinda lame as well. Get some rest dude, seems like you need it. Thanks for all the funnies this year.
I think many of you are missing the crux of my primary argument. I could give a rat's ass about FSJ pretending to be shutdown by Apple. Unlike many people, apparently, I was never fooled by the satire. I take issue with Lyons using the Think Secret settlement as his inspiration. Whether it was intellectual dishonesty or willful ignorance, I can't prove, but he has been dressing up this Think Secret controversy as something that it never was and too many people were too happy to play along.
The Think Secret settlement was NOT about freedom of speech. Nick Ciarelli intentionally solicited information he knew to be under non-disclosure (and promised payment for delivery), violating the law and threatening Apple's bottom line.
The crime that Ciarelli committed is analogous to someone who receives stolen goods, while being perfectly aware that the goods are stolen. Does the fact that he didn't actually steal the goods himself make him any less culpable? A good defense attorney would say "No, of course not."
Thank you for posting Robert's video. Such a great song - I am in the audience somewhere, whoopin it up - here's a nice sentiment for you< family and friends and us all.
BTW,folks, all that money the Think Secret Kid got - he ain't rich - lawyer's fees - barely enough left over to pay for half a semester and lab fees. Get a grip and have a Merry Christmas!
Yeah, the song is pretty darn-god good right there.
The more I think about it (not much actually, just when I open my powerbook up),...
You f*cker. You're an ass.
That was a good one. A damn good joke. FSJ Gold!
Now your only challenge is trying to top that.
Mike Alastar, blah-blah-
I'm sorry to be the one to break this to you, but Ciarelli's action is in no way analogous to the crime of receiving stolen goods. In the first place, this was strictly a civil matter, not addressed by the penal code. No criminal charges were ever filed against him.
Second, no one has ever proven that Ciarelli paid anyone for his information. To say that he did is nothing more than supposition.
In the third place, any loss of Apple's profit as a result of the disclosures is wildly speculative at best, and illusory at worst. This does not rise to the level of an issue that trumps the First Amendment and warrants putting a news publication out of business. It's the freaking Bill of Rights we're talking about. Have you heard of it?
bobdmac
Your case is as weak as Ciarelli's.
He saw he couldn't win and settled.
Maybe you should do the same.
>>By elevating this farce to an issue of free speech, Lyons speaks to the fringe; to those who truly hate Apple and want to cause Apple economic harm. For those of you who like Apple and use their products, I encourage you to take the next logical step and ignore this blog, Forbes and/or entities related to Daniel Lyons and the crooks in Redmond who pay his bills.>>
Put down the crack pipe, mate.
"warrants putting a news publication out of business"
Calling Think Secret a news publication is a bit of a stretch.
Think Secret (a play on the words "think different") existed for one reason only -- to publish Apple secrets and rumors.
When he could no longer solicit secrets from Apple employees (because they were violating non disclosure) as a result of the settlement, the reason for Think Secret's existence was gone.
That's why the blog shut down. Conspiracy theorists think Apple's drive to squelch freedom of speech was behind it -- really that had nothing to do with it.
Ciarelli's business model was blown as he could no longer solicit company confidential information from Apple employees. He had to shut down the site.
I know it's not as glamorous as believing that Apple is trying to suppress freedom of the press. Sorry.
The Economic Espionage Act of 1996. Have you heard of it? Stealing trade secrets IS a crime, bobdmac. In fact, a homeless man who found an advanced copy of Nike's 2008 trade catalog and tried to sell it, was arrested and charged by the FBI last month. You can get all the details here.
Anyway, Merry Christmas, everyone.
Now when he tells us all that MICROSOFT is offering him Shut Up money, none of us will believe it!
Scoble Twitter Update: I Can Haz Microsoft Bribe Pleez?
The Economic Espionage Act of 1996. Have you heard of it? Stealing trade secrets IS a crime, bobdmac. In fact, a homeless man who found an advanced copy of Nike's 2008 trade catalog and tried to sell it, was arrested and charged by the FBI last month. You can get all the details here.
Anyway, Merry Christmas, everyone.
>>>Mike Alaster, EIC, Info-Mac.org
Having read this guy's posts here, I really have to wonder -- WTF is *he* doing with a MAC? He reeks of pompous pinstripery!
>>>I take issue with Lyons using the Think Secret settlement as his inspiration.
Well too fucking bad for you. Who cares?!
Lyons, do you really think this whole stunt was funny? It's not, it's just pathetic. The whole FSJ thing is way past its sell-by date. Do us all a favor and give it a rest.
>>>The whole FSJ thing is way past its sell-by date. Do us all a favor and give it a rest.
And yet you come back to read. And to comment.
Says something, doesn't it?
To anonymous at 5:13-
Was it Ciarelli's case that was weaker, or his wallet? The EFF attorneys apparently differ with you. Maybe he looked at Apple's ability to totally derail his life with a legal blitzkrieg, regardless of the merits of his argument, and chose not to fight. Or maybe they simply bought him off. Maybe it was a combination of both. The fact remains they shut his ass down because they didn't like what he was doing.
At the very least, that issue merits some attention. You can agree or disagree as you see fit, but I'm glad that DL did an effective job of provoking the discussion. If you didn't like his method, fair enough, but that's part of the rough-and-tumble in the marketplace of ideas that is the lifeblood of our democracy.
Our freedoms were hard won. We shouldn't as a society be so eager to surrender them to a corporation that has a $15 billion stack of cash to throw its weight around.
http://www.roughlydrafted.com/2007/12/23/daniel-lyons-cries-wolf-the-real-bill-gates-behind-the-fake-steve-jobs/
Way To Far. Hurtful and suspiciously agenda driven. I've been reading you for quite some time...had you on my google home page. I've had enough.
First of all, Mike Cane, it's Mac, not MAC. The day you wouldn't pay someone/anyone to read your whiny ass blog, is the day I go bare knuckle with Mike Tyson.
>>>Mike Alaster, EIC, Info-Mac.org said...
>>>First of all, Mike Cane, it's Mac, not MAC.
Hey, brain boy, it's called EMPHASIS. Have you HEARD of it, you TARD?
I'm with Mike Alaster. Apple had a case against Think Secret. It may not have been a slam dunk case, but it was a case. Only the uneducated could imagine Apple ever had a case against FSJ. Let's show some respect for the Rule of Law.
>>>Hey, brain boy, it's called EMPHASIS. Have you HEARD of it, you TARD?
Oh, I see, like if someone were to say KISS MY ASS, MIKE CANE, YOU TALENTLESS HACK.
Like that kind of emphasis? Okay, my mistake.
"The fact remains they shut his ass down because they didn't like what he was doing."
That, and they actually had a solid case against him.
Why does everyone assume that a large company is always "screwing the little guy"? Once in a while the "little guy" is actually doing something illegal and should be held accountable for his/her actions . . . the shareholders will bring an action . . . the company must protect their trade secrets or be held to account for why they did not, especially if a quantifiable loss results . . . Apple had no choice but to act.
Mike Alaster-
Do you understand the difference between civil and criminal law? This was a CIVIL case, not a criminal one. Why do you suppose that is?
Cirarelli was running a news site. He was not out trying to hawk some purloined document to Apple's competitors for his private gain. You can quibble about rumors vs. news and the narrow focus of the site, but his stories were repeatedly picked and quoted by wire services and outlets in the mainstream press. He had an impact on the news about Apple.
The remedy for Apple should have been to go directly after their own employees who leaked the information in the first place.
"The remedy for Apple should have been to go directly after their own employees who leaked the information in the first place."
Oh you can be sure they are doing that. But, like the war against terrorism, industrial espionage must be fought all along the chain.
Alaster is correct. US innovation/trade secrets are considered strategic (and possibly the last left) to be protected, hence the act of 1996.
While Ciarelli might not be directly selling trade secrets to the Chinese, he's part of the espionage machine when he solicits from Apple employees and publishes on his blog. The damage done to the company is the same, whether or not he is directly compensated.
@bobdmac
Whether it was a civil or criminal case is immaterial. What part of NICK CIARELLI BROKE THE LAW do you not understand? The Economic Espionage Act of 1996. There it is, in black and white. The guy broke the law.
You need to read the Uniform Trade Secrets Act to have a better understanding of what constitutes a violation, but in essence the simple act of obtaining trade secrets is in itself a violation, to say nothing of the fact that Nick Ciarelli openly solicited for the information. So stop splitting hairs. The guy broke the law. Case closed.
I'm sure Apple could have brought criminal charges against him (and probably threatened to during arbitration), but chose to go the civil route instead. Based on the bad press they've been receiving, even though they actually PAID the guy to keep quiet, I can't say I blame them.
Perhaps Apple should have went after the violators themselves, as you suggest, but then you have to remember that Hewlett Packard got into lots of trouble for doing something very similar two years ago. I'm sure that the controversy at HP gave Apple pause.
Only the ones who publish trade secrets . . . ;-)
FSJ, may your good readers find the place where REK and life meet.
Namastely yours,
js3
Hey FSJ-
You really had me going there. I actually was talking to my husband about your blog. We never talk about blogs! Anyway, thanks for the good time, and I'll be sticking around, even though you did put a big one over on me.
Point well taken, by the way.
Yet another fan...
Well played sir, well played.
My tits aren't fake. They are real and pumped with saline.
namaste FSJ. I honor the place where your satire and my $12.95 become one (options was great).
L
Steve I love your blog but is not enough to make dump my IPOD or crack berry.
A reflection of lame ideas
anonymous@10:45 said: "DL betrayed the reader's trust, because even in a crazy fake world there are boundaries (created by DL himself)."
You're only speaking for yourself. My trust in DL is to push the boundaries as far as possible. With these recent posts, DL has moved the boundaries back.
The ultimate problem we have is that there are few journalists left who can write without being influenced by the advertising department. Where was the press when Pres. Bush was talking about the WMD in Iraq? So we turn to the non-journalists (Jon Stewart, FSJ) for the real news.
Yes, I fell for the ruse at the beginning too. But when I found out that the real story was not as bad as I had imagined, I sat back and laughed at myself for being fooled. And then I admired how FDL had gotten a whole lot of people to think about the Think Secret situation and what it meant to us. And that's why I will continue reading this blog, even on Christmas.
I don't feel betrayed. Not at all. It's all in good fun.
Still haven't read Options yet. I'm off Wednesday, think I can read it in one day? I read the last Harry Potter in a weekend.
you're still a faggot.
Maybe FSJ pulled this little hoax just to get enough people mad at Apple that Apple would get mad enough at him to actually make him a big offer to shut up.
Re: Think Secret Settlement
Lot of you act like you know what happened in the Think Secret settlement. Nobody's who knows is talking, those talking don't know. Here's a possible scenario:
Apple couldn't get what they wanted, the name of the leaker. They calculated they would lose in court, so they offer Nick $$ to buy Think Secret. Then they offer $$$$. Then they offer $$$$$$, and Nick says "Okay!" thinking: I've been doing this since I was 13... I've got a ton of work and homework... I'm happy to retire Think Secret and take the money. Ciarelli's the big winner, while Apple spends big bucks to buy a blog that the author was ready to retire anyway.
And... isn't it a court of law that determines whether a law has been broken... not commentators on a parody blog?
FSJ SHUTDOWN DRAMA WINNERS
My personal congratulations go out to:
surelock homes
wagster
bacher
I went back to look at the comments in the first post of this drama. Only about 10 of the 67 comments expressed any doubt at all that this was true, and our winners above all knew from the start it was parody. Congrats!
Your time came, and it went, Lyons. Time to hang up the skates on this one and move on; your material's getting old.
So is the "shutting down the FSJ blog stunt" is over.
Good work buddy
I, sir, knew Andy Kaufmann and, er...
can't get fooled again!
bobdmac said...
To anonymous at 2:59-
... if you're going to trample on the First Amendment by shutting down a publication...
Apple didn't shut down the site. The blog owner did.
But don't let facts get in your way!
Quit arguing dumbasses about culpability and F.A.R.* and get a life! It's Christmas fer Crissakes! Time to download free porn - WOO-HOO!!
*First Amendment Rights
Now watching A Christmas Story on TBS
Such was the deal: Think Secret doesn't have to reveal who its source was, but they do have to shut down (so they will never do it again). In exchange, they will receive more money in a single payment than any person commenting on this post makes in a year.
Just because you support people selling away their rights doesn't make it right.
Just because FSJ isn't under attack (yet) from Apple doesn't vindicate Apple. The fact is, they are making people offers they can't refuse in exchange for shutting down their websites.
Kind of strange to see people claiming they "think different" acting just like all the other immoral and out of control corporations out there.
Do you see Microsoft forcing websites to close? No, didn't think so. But it seems people like having one set of laws which apply to Microsoft, and one set of laws which apply to everyone else.
So yeah, FSJ was joking. But not really, because there's nothing funny about what Apple is doing.
Not funny. Don't waste our time if you do get in real trouble.
You just burned a whole lot of good will.
If that roughlydrafted guy is having a go at you, you know your doing something right!
Peace out.
Okay, impassioned readers, how about a questionnaire? Can you all give two simple yes/no answers to two simple questions? (1) Do you think Think Secret did what was alleged, i.e. do you think they solicited trade secrets from Apple employees? If so, (2) do you think it was illegal?
How about you, Mr. Lyons? Can you give us straight, simple answers to these two simple questions?
As for me, my answers are yes and yes.
FSJ - Brilliant! You know it's good comedy because it pisses off so many people! Hee hee hee....
To Mike Alaster-
Here's the actual text of the Economic Espionage Act:
(a) Whoever, with intent to convert a trade secret, that is related to or included in a product that is produced for or placed in interstate or foreign commerce, to the economic benefit of anyone other than the owner thereof, and intending or knowing that the offense will, injure any owner of that trade secret, knowingly—
Please note the language about the intent to convert a trade secret to someone else's economic benefit. They would have had a hell of a time proving that this was Ciarelli's intent, because it wasn't. Maybe that's why he wasn't charged with a criminal violation. So the premise of your argument strikes me as flawed, to say the least.
To anonymous at 10:11-
Uh, hello--do you think Apple's litigation against Ciarelli, backed by essentially unlimited finances, might have had anything to do with his decision to shut it down? They either made it too risky for him to continue or too lucrative not to shut down. The net result is that constructively, it was Apple's decision to end the blog.
In retrospect I agree this whole thing is really funny and clever. What I don't really agree with is the idea that people are stupid for not knowing it was a hoax. Part of the whole point of what he did was that it was plausible; if you didn't believe it early on, you really didn't have much reason, and going around bragging about being right and harassing those with a more normal assessment is a bit immature.
I understand the frustration of those who were conned and defended him, myself included, but quite simply, get over it, and learn to laugh at yourself. It was pretty funny if you think about it.
I don't like the comparison to the video posted because the family members in the video are obviously fake, whereas your story was not anywhere near so obvious. So, acting like we were too stupid to get it is a bit offensive. You yourself go on a big rant about how it's completely possible and real. So, please decide whether we are stupid, or whether you were making a point by manipulating us.
Merry christmas FSJ - good hoax you sure know how to get everyone talking...
i'm sure santa claus bells by apple with a nokiaintegration for eastern news
jsg said...
The fact is, they are making people offers they can't refuse in exchange for shutting down their websites.
The fact is that you can refuse anything if you believe in it. Sounds like you are pissed at the website owner for selling out.
I wonder if you could have taken it to another level and made Apple pay you to keep blogging to avoid the bad rap. Or maybe you did? Oh, these blogs are such uncharted waters for monetization...
@mikecane - Get over yourself, you knob. Nobody gives a crap what you think.
very Nice Blog,i love to read all posts of your blog,good work...
Thanks
My blog
Daily Spiritual Quotes
So, back we go to these questions - friendship, character, ethics...
chris @ 3:50 am. lighten up and have your proctologist pull the broomstick fully out of your rectum. go talk with Elayne Boosler who was one of Andy's best friends. she'd read this blog, laugh her ass off, then slap you around a few times for being such a pain in the ass. ass.
today each of your child like wonder shall remember:
I realized by using the high notes of the chords as a melodic line, and by the right harmonic progression, I could play what I heard inside me. That's when I was born. Charlie Parker
Merry Christmas
after reading all of the ignorance posted here, all I can say is, please turn comment moderation back on.
normally, the blog should jump the shark, but this time, the shark has jumped the blog...
@bobdmac
First of all, I can't believe you were still posting on this pathetic excuse for a blog at 11:58 PM Christmas Eve! Jesus Christ on a popsicle stick! Don't you have a frigging life? Don't you have family?
And I see you're still splitting hairs. I don't see how you can say Nick Ciarelli didn't have a financial incentive for stealing Apple secrets when he runs a commercial web site with advertisements on the front page. It's Think Secret.com, not ORG.
Okay, but let's give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't have a financial incentive. That doesn't mean he didn't commit a crime. And remember, my original assertion was that Nick Ciarelli committed a crime, which automatically takes this case out of the realm of free speech. Speech is protected by the first amendment until you commit a crime.
If you don't believe me, go to your neighbor's house right now and threaten to kill him and rape his wife and see how long you stay a free man. Ask any gangster who's been convicted on the weight of wiretaps alone (John Gotti anyone?) and see how far that freedom of speech argument got them. Despite what you believe, the restrictions on free speech are numerous.
I also noticed that you ignored the common law application for trade secrets, as embodied in the Uniform Trade Secrets Act (You know, the one I told you to read), which allows for even less evidence than the EEA, which is federal. Common law broadly defines a violation as ocuring when any trade secret has been disclosed without consent of the trade secret holder. Period.
Don't you have a frigging life? Don't you have family?
For those who missed it, this stinging rebuke was delivered at nine o'clock on Christmas morning.
Malcolm Forbes was Gay. But now he's dead and FSJ works for Forbes. I digressss. That song sucked, IMO
To Quote a Song...
"Where is the Love?" "Where is the love?"
ok, since the forth wall is back up..
Steve-o, I can't get enough of that song. Once the stores open up tomorrow (yeah, they all close down here), I am soooo going to pick that up. Or at least try to.
Go ahead, tell me it's available on iTunes. If not, MAKE IT! It's a brilliant song.
Well done to all the people going nuts over unsubstantiated blog posts. You've proved DL's point about blogs (no link. i can't be arsed, it was in Forbes) very well, face-valuetards! The truth hurts doesn't it?
Sad. One less reader. Bye.
I just don't know what to think...does this
mean that all of the incorrect statements
regarding geography and culture that
FSJ has posted here were not genuine
errors? Is nothing sacred!?
I think unlocking the comments might have been a bad idea... it's no fun to look through 200 comments, 30 or so was much better!
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