In the wake of our devastating loss to Nick dePlume of Think Secret (photo) we are considering rolling out an amnesty program to other Apple bloggers in which they would accept a cash payment in return for a promise never to write another word about Apple for as long as they live. Naturally after this they too could claim victory and hail themselves as champions of the First Amendment. Payments TBD based on how much of a pain in the ass you are to us. Highly ethical and unbiased journos like Goatberg, Smurfy Pogue and Daniel Eran Dilger obviously are not eligible to participate. But the rest of you scumbags? Drop a dime. Let's talk.
Bloggers, here's your chance to be heroes. Follow in the brave footsteps of Nick Ciarelli. Strike a blow for freedom of the press. Become a standard-bearer for journalists everywhere. Accept money in exchange for shutting the fuck up. Stick it to the man, baby. EFF lawyers are standing by, ready to take your calls.
Friday, December 21, 2007
We're launching a blogger amnesty program
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16 comments:
LOL Shouldn't you and Moshe be pouring over phone logs and surveilance video and stuff trying to figure out your leaks? You know, like you've been told in court to do instead of pestering bloggers. :P
Admit defeat? This isn't the FSJ I know! Where are the Spec Ops teams and the reputation-destroying media campaigns?
Would you consider hush money to keep a potential Apple bloggers silent? For example, I could be a complete pain in the ass, unless I got $5 million and a guarantee to pay my taxes.
Wouldn't that money be well spent plugging the leaks (i.e. Apple employees) than silencing the bloggers. It'll be like Spartacus, dude, except instead of being crucified, you get a payday.
*rubbing had in greed ^h^h^h^h^h glee*
Yeah, baby! I can back to eating at the dollar menu at Wendy's! Sign me up!
This whole saga reminds me of 'The Godfather' but with shiny objects of desire.
i'm with mike cane, on this one. you know, we all seem like loyal, obedient commentards supporting the blog here, fsj. but i've got property taxes that are killin' me. all i'm sayin' is, accidents happen. that's all i'm sayin'. things on the blog could get ug-ly, very fast. wouldn't want to see that happen, now, would we?
Fucking classic. I love it.
i am just in the planning stage of creating a new blog: "The Many Secret Lives of Infinite Loop". I have a dozen "insiders" lined up to be snitches,,, err sources ... Perhaps for the right mount of $$$ i'll forgo my project. Hell lets talk plain. For 500K i'll forget that I even know where California is. ... looking forward to your call steverino.
This generation, morally bankrupt... sigh. And to think he's a Harvard graduate. The future of this country doesn't look too bright to me any more.
It is actually quiet disturbing to see the flac the pooor guy gets from everyone for making a deal with Apple. Although the Secret Diary is funny, it is really embarrassing to read this particular entry.
Thinksecret wasn't that hot, or accurate, as long as the guy's satisfied, what's the problem with the deal? please, in the interest of your readers, grow up.
Can I be a soak it insider?
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